One of my client engaged in public speaking, but had a strong haunting sense of insecurity and shame, afraid to faint during his speeches. She tried to compensate for this in my life a sense of order, setting certain rules “how” she received the “gift” from parents, who adopted her child, even physical ways of punishment. In this life it is constantly returned to the fact that these rules do not work: at home, children are not always listened to, her husband pressured and criticized. In the end, her cure was immediate and even somewhat childlike. I offered her to try to behave not the way it used to, more to focus on what surrounds her, not on yourself, trying to leave their old broken rules and units. And after a fairly short time it gave the result – her neurosis is fully retreated.
So, what can we learn from the alarm?
the Most important lesson of anxiety is, in my opinion, is that the world – much bigger and more complex than we think. The world does not have to be the way we want it to be. And when we artificially trying to make the world be “correct”, we begin to worry. Because, really, we're not forcing the world to be the way we want to, we force ourselves to conform to the parameters of the fictional world is largely us.
We held hands and feet for those attitudes and beliefs that are largely formed in our childhood, even if the installation starts we totally interfere with life. The perception of the world as we knew it in our childhood, is largely the determining, the base.
So, if in childhood we are often criticized and punished, then in adult life we criticize and punish ourselves, because so familiar, so right and clear. If in childhood we lived in chaos and chaos in the background, for example, always find out the relationship of the parents, and in adult life unconsciously we ourselves start to create chaos and confusion, because we already know how to live, for us, it becomes a familiar place to live. Yes, life can be so difficult, painful, and sometimes even scary, but familiar.
the Alarm occurs when there is a conflict between the habitual image of the world and myself, which arose in childhood, and between the real real world that constantly requires us to awareness and responsibility for their lives. Anxiety requires us to change something, to accept the terrible fact that we were wrong – and the world of our childhood has almost nothing to do with the real world in which we live.
Those who have the courage to face it and change their lives, perceptions of their world and themselves, get rid of the neurosis. Those who no matter what continues to hold their children's attitudes and beliefs continue to pay for it suffering from neurosis.
what will you choose?
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