What comes to mind in response to the words “independence” and “responsibility”? Have many — admonitions of adults to child, boss to subordinate. And very often standing next to the word “need”, unpleasant, depressing.
But what really is behind these concepts?
With independence seems to be clear, is the ability to do something without the help of others. And what is the responsibility? A willingness to answer for their actions. But how to respond, to whom? Not in front of someone and facing life in front of him. Is the ability to be prepared for the consequences of their actions, both positive and negative.
Why do we need independence? First and foremost, to make decisions. And to implement them. The responsibility needed to take on the consequences of those decisions in my life. Independence without responsibility does not exist, so let's say then simply “independence”.
Independence — is freedom. It is possible to shift decision-making on loved ones, on society, on religion, politicians… and you can make your own decisions. In every person's life there are very serious decisions, such as choosing a profession, selection of the best friend or life partner, sometimes the decision “to begin again”. And then there are the daily small choices: what to wear today, how to spend the evening, where to go on vacation. But it is these small elections are shaping our lives and pave the way for serious solutions.
it is Possible for life to follow someone else's rules: to go to school where parents said, then listen to friends when choosing a job and obey the boss, then get married with a "decent human being" live "to the neighbors was not ashamed”… And you can live as you personally see fit. To find a deal to their liking, look for like-minded people who genuinely fall in love. To live, based only on their own principles and desires.
Yes, to be independent — it is hard and scary, especially at first, this fear is wonderfully described by Erich Fromm in the book “Escape from freedom". No one to blame for their failures, it is often unclear what to do next, how to live, how to think. You have to question like familiar truths, to meditate on the meaning of life, the division between good and evil. But if you go this way, you're sure to live your unique life, doing what you really want. Isn't this is freedom?
Independence does not mean lack of assistance from other people. On the contrary, ask for help — an important step. This you need to walk: to recognize the problem, formulate, to find, who to ask for help. But no one will solve the problem for you without being asked.
Independence and responsibility open the way to your own unique happiness, removed many restrictions and limitations, and often make the impossible possible. What happens if you don't give up the dream under the pressure of someone else's opinion?
Author public https://vk.com/psychologmsk