Man strives for uniqueness. This saves energy, simplifies the choice and protects from the layering and diversity of the world. It's nice to know who is good who is bad. What is right what is wrong. So it is possible to obtain the desired rating "good" or, at least , violating good and proper, just know that you will not receive.
But the world does not agree with this, welcome, simplicity. A good person commits a bad act and a bad person suddenly behaves like a Man. Right thoughts lead to collapse, and the absurd becomes a success. Some estimates "done" very difficult to wash off, and other "twos" begin to be proud of.
And Yes, they exist, people who have learned not to aspire to such simplicity. Who are ready to bear the tension of ambiguity, ambivalence. When every minute the balance of good and bad changes. When the choice has to take on his internal compass, no hints on the outside. When to want something and to enjoy what is possible overnight.
Sometimes it works for everyone. Sometimes everyone fails. What if you remember the constant desire to set the bar good-bad and be able to take on a man in another or in yourself?
Now to the examples. The young family she is ambitious, wants to grow in the profession and income, but quite glad that they have at the moment. He is a strong professional in a not very money worry about how to provide a family, and constantly experiencing negative emotions because of this. Every conversation about the possible future development of the wife or their families, dreams of the sea in the summer or going on a Christmas vacation - like burning tin on his guilt. And she doesn't even understand what's going on with him when she is trying to dream. Her dreams are the flashlight into the future, does not spoil the present. It fits both. It - no, from the inability to combine the joy of today and the desire for the future, he only feels negative.
Two friends who share views on how to develop the country, what is good for the economy and what events are coming good. But when there are concrete facts - rallies, or a blast - one to cope with the ambiguity ("rallies is superfluous and unnecessary action, but women can not be beat", "strong military power is important, but information about affected doctors was necessary"), and the other not ("go to meetings only idiots, serves them right, no matter who they are on the floor", "no, well, what do you want great things require great sacrifice, individuals can suffer for the sake of important goals").
Parent adult child. Some parents are able to accommodate themselves and that they are loved, and that children will never agree with them about religion, money, politics. Some parents are able to create a space where good just be - buns, gossip about friends, to watch movies. Others can't reconcile the facts that love them and do not agree with them. Either love and agree with everything or disagree and don't like. The same - about children growing up: combine that the parent loves, but I do not agree - as difficult.
If a person does not fit the ambivalence, if it is a person unbearable, any interaction becomes a minefield where you never know what the word jerk.
What to do with it? After all, the adult is impossible to remake!
So that is quite impossible. But there is one adult person to develop and to offer him/her a new one. It is you yourself.
Notice, that do not hold contradictory facts and all the time, how could I forget, displace one of them is a write. Watch how often it happens to you. Hold the elusive attention to the fact. Try to take out the opposition. After some practice time will get better and better. And you clear the space of communication on their part. Doesn't really matter which side at least no - they are not.
And the second. Please remember that the other person may not have the resource to sustain the ambivalence and disagreement. Not because he is bad. In because there is no energy, tranquility, stability without the black and white world. Man survives. This can be sad, but it cannot be changed. This can be removed, reducing the communication, but it cannot be changed. For this reason it is possible to live any of their feelings - but it cannot be changed.
the duality of the world - it's like a built-in 3D glasses, 3D vision. To live in a world, maybe harder, but definitely more interesting.