All come from childhood. Let's look at where originated interacti. Because of their age, some things to explain to the child difficult, some impossible. It also happens that parents do not consider it necessary to explain, it is easier to give specify: "do/ don't do that".

Example: do not take without permission/ don't be angry/ don't argue with senior/ my hands, etc.

each is a certain number of interacti. They help us simplify life. We just behave in a certain way and there is no need to weigh all "for" and "against", to suffer doubt. these are our rules of life.

note that installation can be learned and nonverbal when the parents didn't speak them aloud, but they regulate family life, and therefore has become stable patterns of behaviour in the present.

Problems arise due to the fact that introject, perceived in childhood, without criticism, may not be suitable for certain situations. They are inconvenient and in the way, but due to the impossibility of realization, the person still continues to follow them,

Example: - protective parents were constantly violating the personal space of the child, borders was not in his room (came in without knocking/ not allowed to put a lock), or in life in General. Then he builds a wall around itself and did not let on. In childhood, this alienation of benefits in certain situations, but in adult life is a hindrance to building a healthy relationship with other people.

There's only one way to critically reconsider the established patterns of behavior - to go through personal therapy. I always joke that therapy is scary, painful, long and expensive.

unfortunately, even the reading of specialized literature and seminars can help to circumvent the protection mechanisms of the psyche and look at your life from the outside.

I Often hear from people I know, so much of the training was held. And look - the man in my life nothing has changed. Unless protection is strengthened. To admit they were wrong, the failure, forgive yourself for the mistakes, go through the fear and start to act can a few.

the Psychology of change ©

Tatyana Chalik

www.tatianachalik.ru