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each of us has a certain number of friends. It's natural. Even foresters living in self-imposed seclusion in the far cordons, have your own circle of friends. We communicate with relatives, colleagues, neighbors, friends, acquaintances. In this circle there are often people that causes us irritation. This man seems arrogant, stupid, greedy, ill-tempered, arrogant, rude. You can go on this list. The degree of irritation caused by we, too, are different. Sometimes we just hate to meet this person. It happens that we hate it. Often we ourselves do not understand such reaction. Why this man causes us such extraordinary emotions? Comparing this person with other friends, we tried to be fair, honest answer that it's not better or worse than others. But we experience good feelings, or indifference. And this man is hated because he's so uninhibited or arrogant, absent-minded or attentive. And we ought to rejoice that we are so different with him. In fact, every time we get upset when we see it, such a careless or responsible.

We suspect that this hatred is something else. And our outrage smacks of hypocrisy. So what's the deal? Envy. It is those traits that we so annoying, in fact we like. And we really want to be too straightforward to rudeness, relaxed or focused, focused. In psychology long been known for these provisions. It is difficult to accept, to accept your imperfections. Are we worse than the person who annoys us so much? It's him we want to emulate? To become like him? No less difficult to admit to myself that I envy. Envy relates to negative traits. So, at least, is considered in ethics. Psychology looks at it differently. Envy is a reaction that helps us figure out what we want to what to achieve. This reaction, indicating that we do not have that quality or situation, the good that we want to get, but which others have. At first glance this is obvious, but the subconscious mind reacts differently than the mind. In mind there are limiting factors: morality, ethics, education. The subconscious know nothing about it wants. One way of objections to the consciousness — envy.

There is another theory about the origin of envy. Psychology is a living science. It is constantly evolving, adding new theories. We envy you, but can't afford to admit to this feeling. In the literature, such contradictions are called "conflict". In psychology too, much due to contradictions. Envy is one of the first negative emotions that one experiences in infancy. Jealousy is accompanied by anger. Somewhat disappointing to know that a few of the emotions we absorb from the cradle. And appear before a adorable helpless creatures, and quite aggressive creatures. Anger often are the markers of loss. For example, the person is taken something vital. What does this have to do with envy?

infants perceive the world is not so, how adults people. Babies have blurred the boundary between inner and outer worlds. In other words, tiny children do not separate yourself from the outside world. They do not perceive themselves or other holistic entities. They also relate to the objects around. The world of babies is fragmented. The mother in the child's performance consists of many "fragments": chest, hands, face, voice. Each of these fragments is divided into positive and negative, poor items.

Baby considers positive the object associated with safety and pleasure. The object, leading to frustration, the child believes the negative. In hunger and overeating baby tend to see the aggression from the "bad" breast.

Over time, children begin to collect partial objects in a holistic way. This allows them to distinguish between themselves, other actors and the outside world. But till this time the baby envies the mother's breast, hands, having, as he believes, the good things of life. It depends on the appearance and disappearance of power source and heat. This dependency was causing him anger. Not so harmless child's tears. Often he was crying with anger and envy.

But the child will never realize that these negative feelings he has for his beloved mother. The psyche of the baby will supersede this attitude to the dearest creature. These processes occur in the period when the child begins to perceive itself separately existing being. But the reaction of anger and envy at the absence of something vital remains fixed. All this time already working the mechanism of repression. And our mind displaces feelings that we consider negative.

you should Not condemn yourself for anger and envy. These feelings are experienced by all people. And you are no exception. Let's distinguish between feelings and actions that we commit under the pressure of emotions. Envy of monsters can be turned into a helper. She indicates that we are something very much needed. This will be the beginning of the creation of the mechanism of achievement of goals. And if someone is annoying, we think, without reason, look to this man. You might want to bring in his character traits that this man has.

the Origin of envy in its infancy, explained Melanie Klein. It was she who developed the theory of object relations.


2018-12-26
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