the Willingness of another person to give in a relationship depends directly on him.
On the set of popular training courses to women saying they need to change themselves to meet expectations men and must learn to ask, to crave and even demand satisfaction of their needs. Both of these polarities, unfortunately, do not lead to the desired result, if a woman meets a partner who is ready for a woman to give almost anything that she needs.
So the woman gets, or circle of endless changes themselves, improve their appearance, diets, grueling workouts in the gym, all kinds of cosmetic procedures or even plastic surgery. And most of all in this endless pursuit of perfection, she meets a man who is even more critical of her appearance or inner world than she is, which is necessary again and again to prove that she's perfect, which makes her more and more requirements, while often not matching with its part of some standard parameters of beauty and self-development even close.
Or the woman is trying to discover their goddess, Queen of men's hearts through the development of some verbal manipulation, the whims, requirements man it is trying to charge him with.
Both of these paths lead to a dead end. As the devaluation itself, and infinite adjustment to the partner and a desire to deserve his care and attention, and inflacionaria will not help you to build satisfying relationships. br>
Study the long-known behavioral technique of "random reinforcement", which is the manipulation of rejection men, in the case of non-fulfillment of all desires and requirements of women, and the approach, in the case of satisfaction of all its vagaries, leads to the fact that such relationship will last very long, as men, not with strong masochistic traits, simply will not tolerate these manipulations. And prone to masochism, often at the same time prone to sadism, and soon women will have to experience for yourself the depreciation of her man and his desire to subdue her to his power.
the Truth is that no conduct and no manipulation is not able to force someone to do what he does not want and can not have at the beginning of the relationship, the man shows that he is willing to give a woman. And then she just needs to understand enough of her to feel this person well.
the needs of the people in the relationship can be divided into those whose satisfaction they would get from a partner, and those who encourage them to do something in order to give pleasure to the partner.
unfortunately, now many are willing to bring a "gift" to your partner only their own needs. Whether it's sexual needs, the need for communication, attention and care or financial needs.
And, unfortunately, many women, and sometimes there are serious difficulties with a sense of self-worth, and the very presence of the partner may be required to improve her self-esteem and confidence. "She wants me", "he spends time with me," "he says he's okay with me", "he comes to me when he's down" - this could be all that the man gives the woman in the relationship.
In fact, these needs for intimacy, companionship, attention, help yourself to the man is what he takes from you. br>
And what you get from these relationships should be determined not by the satisfaction of partner that give you and your satisfaction in what he gives you.
getting Acquainted with the person you after a few meetings I can understand that he is willing to offer you. If a man has needs, focused on you, not only for themselves. br>
does he need to take care of a woman, to make compliments, ask her out somewhere, to give gifts. Does he have the need to be interested in your life and your inner world, to help you to solve some issues together to make some of your things, to share something that you like. Does he have the need to give you pleasure in sex to fulfill your desires and fantasies, not just your own. br>
In the limit in General, do men need to make some action for you. And not just give in words any promises.
many women believe that a man can "win", "warm", "to melt his heart."
By and large this is neither a man nor a woman if:
- 1. Their past relationships and feelings for others is not exhausted,
- 2. They are prone to acting-out devaluation and aggression in relationships
- 3.They have a setting just for the consumption of your resources.
the Wounded inner child of the woman and her desire to see someone saved her and warmed can easily mislead her that the man also lives the same wounded child, who in response to the "warming" will respond once with warmth and gratitude.
But in the man wounded part and part of the cruel, devaluing, hurting may not exist in the mind at the same time, the wounded part may be displaced, and the injury can be compensated by acting out in her relationship with other people. br>
And not always the pain of deep trauma can be healed by the love of the wounded part, even if it is conscious. Sometimes only with a person who is not included in a close relationship, perhaps acting out of aggression, a weakening of the traumatic affect and the disappearance of the tendency to obsessive replaying of the trauma in a new relationship.
Or, except wounds and deficits, the partner may not be any other internal resources that it could invest in the relationship. br>
P. S. This article is written for women, but does not imply discrimination against men. Everything described above is true for women who are not ready to give your partner what he needs.