We know that it is important to love yourself, right? But what it really means to love and to take care of themselves?
For some people love yourself means taking a warm bath or pamper themselves with a massage or manicure. However, the elusive love of self that we seek requires something deeper than what you can "make" for themselves.
self-love means finding peace within yourself — a comfortable stay in the depths of our being. We can find temporary relief by doing something to take care of yourself. But a deeper inner peace requires the cultivation of a certain lifestyle with themselves — a warm and caring relationship to what we experience inside.
the Following sentences taken from the Focus developed by Dr. Eugene Handlines, Sometimes referred to as the focusing attitude. It's just a way to be kind, present and attentive to everything that we experience.
Gendlin stated: "customer Relationships and reactions to feel the feeling should be the same as the therapist focused on the client". In other words, we need to show empathy and unconditional positive regard to all that we experience inside.
Be gentle with yourself.
it is Often easier to be kind and gentle to others than to yourself. Judicial voices from the past may have left a hidden residue of toxic shame, which prevents us to read — or even notice — what we really feel.
to Be gentle with oneself means to be kind and friendly to the feelings that arise within us. It is very sad sometimes to feel loneliness, pain and fear. This is a sign of strength, not weakness, to remember these feelings and to provide them with a friendly environment.
When customers notice difficult feelings, I can ask: "it Good to have this feeling right now? Can you relate to this gentle, caring way?". I could also help them to find some distance from painful feelings, so that they were not so overwhelming.
Against our feelings — is one way to make them more spacious. We can live with our emotions and not be overwhelmed by them.
the Therapist Lori Rappaport offers a few questions about our feelings in his book "Focused art therapy"
- Can you be friendly with it (felt sense)?
- Can you say hi (felt sense) inside?
- Imagine that you sit next to him... Can you make the company the same way you work with the vulnerable children's company.
This gentle way of being with ourselves is the antidote to shame. Instead of fighting with myself or trying to fix or change yourself. We find more inner peace just by being in our experience as it develops.
Let our experience be what it is.
When I invite the client to notice their feelings, sometimes they answer: "Why do I want to feel that?". I explain that when we put the feeling away, they often come back. Or they played in a manner that is detrimental to us or others, such as the use of alcohol or other ways of torpor, or transfer our pain to others through anger or accusation.
Love yourself — it means to experience our feelings for what they are. Often we try to push away unpleasant experiences and to cling to pleasant. But as suggested by Buddhist psychology, we create more suffering for myself by clinging to pleasant things and disgusted by painful feelings.
a Subtle sense of fear and shame can prevent us to allow our experience to live his life within us. For example, if we feel (or show) sadness, pain or anxiety, we may think that we are weak. Or maybe we said it not OK to feel; we're afraid that others may judge us.
accept the wisdom of ignorance.
If we are honest with ourselves, we may notice that we often do not clear our feelings. Our feelings are often vague and blurred. If we can afford to pause and make space for ambiguity and patiently to welcome and explore our blurred, vague feelings, they can gradually come to a clearer focus (thus, the term "Focus").
for Example, we can see the anger towards the partner, but underneath it may be hiding something deeper. We know about the tip of the iceberg, but to see what is below, we need to look closely.
Our society values knowledge and determination. But often we are unclear about what we really feel. Politicians who do not Express strong opinions about everything, often perceived as helpless. Really need strength and wisdom to say: "I'm not sure. Let me think about it".
Human feeling — these are gifts that should be welcomed. But we need to find a way to be with them, so they became allies, not enemies. Emotions such as grief, allow us to get rid of pain, so we can move forward in your life. Other feelings may be more fuzzy, like a knot in your stomach or tightness in the chest. When we bring this attitude of meekness, you can begin to understand how it relates to something important — perhaps, as we do not respect ourselves or are afraid to look silly.
Feelings often contain wise messages, if we can only decipher what they are trying to tell us the best way. If we can develop a warm and friendly attitude to your feelings, they are more likely to become friendly allies and our way of life. Arise new meanings, ideas and discoveries, and our life moves forward more intense way.
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