When you call the parents and say that they would like to arrange a consultation about your child, the first meeting I invite parents themselves. In this proposal the reaction is different: someone never calls back, someone genuinely puzzled: “ what have we? Problems the child!”. There are those who don't see me wanting to date them are nothing special and agree to a meeting. In the future with this group of parents established a good working Alliance, and helping their child, of course, is the more effective and faster.

when you seek help about their children can understand their own feelings of the parents. Here, and awkwardness over the fact of the treatment that they are unable to become good parents for him, and the guilt for not able to provide their own children “normal” development. This is a serious blow to the self esteem of the parents, their hopes and faith in a better future for their child. In addition to guilt the contact is from the parents the feelings of anxiety. What is the process of psychotherapy?  whether the therapist's knowledge and experience to help the child? How long will it last?  etc. the Anxiety mixed with the experience of shame at his own helplessness and aggression. In addition, the culture of referral to a specialist in the field of mental health in our country is still not sufficiently developed and is not supported by society.

seeking psychological help, a weapon which is the word, requires people of determination and the belief that “the word heals”. In General, the courage to admit the existence of mental problems own child and begin to deal with this.

And why the therapist needs meetings with parents? According to many analysts, childhood, children do not realize the need for psychotherapeutic intervention. Although, it is often the children ask to take them to a specialist hoping to get rid of what's bothering them. In any case, the request for assistance comes from parents who are concerned about the violation of the child's behavior, his inappropriate reactions inability to cope with it. So the first encounter is alone with his parents, where they can freely Express their worries and what is connected with the need to seek professional help, why now.

secondly, I ask questions about the history of the child, his development, how he passed through various stages of growth, as perceived by parents. Part of the meeting with the parents is given to their story about their own childhood, about their relationship with their moms, dads, siblings (brothers and sisters), their experiences are similar or opposite to those experienced by their child at the time of treatment.

third, for psychologists are important not only the fact of parental consent to conduct psychotherapy, but also the potential and real effects on the therapeutic process. Here I will explain. The therapist spends with the patient is a child 1-3 hours a week in a psychotherapy office, while the rest of the time he is with his parents or in a different environment. So what happens behind the door of the Cabinet, the psychologist does not know, and this is very important information that can be obtained only in a personal meeting with parents.

as a psychologist evaluates the ability of parents to support the baby and each other during your process of psychotherapy, their willingness to take part in its development, forming a new image sunadokei.

generally, therapy of a child is interrupted in the absence of consideration of the feelings and emotions of parents arising in the course of therapy of the child and in the absence of the establishment of the Alliance with parents. According to my observations, the main motivation to create a good therapeutic Alliance with the parents is their desire to become good parents for their children, perhaps more understanding and competent than were their own.