What they tell me parents


Hello, my name is Maxim Kuznetsov, I'm 15 years old. I'm in school and engaged in piano class, I study English and Italian, additionally engaged with the math tutor. I like to play football, but classes rarely get it.

I know I was born to an exceptional family. It seems to be common, but parents say that we're special. Our grandfather was a famous architect, my father is a chief engineer at the plant, and the mother head the best, according to her, the city design Studio.

Parents say that I was destined for greatness, I don't have to be like everyone else. I have a lot of work, and then I will succeed. Grandfather said that in life you need to achieve something. I don't know exactly what probably have become the richest, at least in the city and to higher technical education. My mother often said that all of its problems from the fact that designers are those who can't pass math. Apparently, those who cannot pass the math worthless people. Apparently, the best education is technical, because other professions can learn, even those who can't pass math.

Most of the time I do school, if not doing music. Learning is very "fun", it's like like chewing on an old Shoe sole, belly, by the way, the study also hurts if I ate the soles of sneakers. And I often have a headache. I recently picked up a nice sedative, and I can sleep. Earlier, every night I could not sleep and thought what will happen if I don't make it a normal rating for a quarter, because if I got three, parents would be disappointed and turned away from me.

somehow I didn't have time to do homework. At that moment I was flooded with tears, I didn't know what to do, I screamed and threw the wall things, this then began to happen to me often, but, thank God, then I managed to submit homework and not got two. If you get one of the two, it is possible to roll — my mom knows about it she told me. If slide will not be able to enroll in a normal institution and will be necessary to nobody, will become a janitor, and you never will be girls.

I Guess I don't have a girlfriend because I'm 15 years old and girl and was not, and all the others who were in relationships. Very long ago the father said that if I'm afraid that I don't like girls. And I know I can't please no one, because I am very much afraid. The last time I was afraid of everything, I'm afraid of the dark and loud noises, I often have nightmares. I can't find a girl though I must. The mother said her brother is a loser, he's 30 years old and not married. Those who can't find a girl failed.

Parents often tell me about how much they spent money on a piano and a tutor. So I have to do everything and to do 100 points, otherwise they will be quite bad to me. But I'm afraid after all that I have will not work, the parents say so. They say that I often relax, and so nothing I have will not work. But to work, they say you should always at 120 % of 100. If you have problems with study, I can not stand it.

But my friend do not care to study. His name is Sasha, he is "normal". Sasha smokes, drinks and often fights. Even as a child he realized that he could not learn the father looked like in first class he writes in a notebook and said, "Now you're playing a game, who is? Good you will not." Sania knows that nothing can, it's still early, said his mother. When he tried in 5 years put floor, she took his MOP and said, "Give it to me, nothing can." She always said that he is doing everything wrong. Sanya thinks he's a loser and can only be a janitor, if you're lucky.

Sanya can not stand boring lessons, he says they are not necessary. His father said that the chiefs be the only ones who know how to suck up to the rich and only those who know how to Rob a simple working people. The bosses and oligarchs have a lot to ordinary people. So his father all his free time watching TV and drinking beer.

Father never did anything after work, because the work tired, and even more tired than at work, it is impossible. Sanja believes that to do only what he is interested in. Youth will pass, and nothing will remain. San think if he's going to strain or feel discomfort when you take the tutorial, he will die. He never tried to do something that is not fun.

We are friends with him, though I to be friends once. I must be special, and he is a normal kid, but we both know that we are worse than others. So I have to learn to become better (although this is unlikely to happen), and he thinks he needs to ridicule others to insult, beat and humiliate.

Sometimes we want parents told us: "you will succeed", "I will love you, even if you're not an excellent student", "If something did not work, this is not the end. Try again, and if will not work again, life will still not be awful", "I wish you got a lot. But you won't be wrong if it will not achieve anything", "I can tell you what is good and what is bad; what is helpful and what is not. But you have the right to choose what you like and striving for it", "I am willing to help you." But the parents don't say that, because people shouldn't bring up.

Wishing good to the child, the happiness of his family, maintaining his "good name," we say to the child: "you should..." — we put forward a rigid, categorical requirement. Thereby depriving him of the right not to conform to what we expect from him, and leave no room for his own desires. The child can make the following conclusions: if you say that he is obliged, in case of failure you will not love him, he will become a loser, something terrible's gonna happen, life will be lived in vain. This can lead to excessive stress and adverse effects to health and in the emotional sphere. Have desires about their children, their future is normal. However, we must not forget that if we want something, it doesn't have to happen.
on the other hand, we can expect from your child that he won't be able to achieve, you can consider it stupid, weak, defective. Believe that can achieve success only people from elite families. Do not allow him to Express his independence by criticizing his actions. Or, in his mistakes, wanting to motivate, tell him: "Nothing you can't be..." the Child may take this literally and believe from childhood that life is a failure and to feel that he was always destined to be "just a worthless loser." This can lead to skipping classes, disruptive behavior, calling behavior, frequent conflicts with peers, teachers and parents. Much better would be to believe in the child, and impress upon him that if he wants to, much.

Evgeny Emelyanov
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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