What to do if your child steals?
I want to Start here. Who is this child and how long do you consider it so? If you listen to the sensations, the child he years to 12, and logically, as well years finally to 13 as the substrate develops a crust, and there is a period of "conscious age". Until that time, he only learns to live in society, to think in terms of "good/bad", to understand that his actions carry consequences. Therefore, in my opinion, to attribute a student of life "diagnosis" - the thief pretty quickly.
And then, if we argue that such theft, it is possible to come to interesting conclusions. Movies with free resources, downloading music, someone invented to make money, including... it's not stealing? In this issue there are many things to speculate. Only what is described in the law is a theft? Every once took for himself here any limits and they can vary greatly from each other. So if in the adult world it's not easy, the child is even more difficult to deal with this.
Here's the story. Family: mother and two children. Enough money to a minimum. The younger son of 7 years began to notice that he appear in other people's things. Well, how to resist the man who does not have such toys, no clothes or even some little trifles, which are so important is in childhood, the temptation - not to assign it to yourself?
that's what I noticed.. that sometimes adults noticing this behavior for your child, scared, afraid of the opinions from the outside and appoint the child as such - "thief", thus insulated from it. But it's about a huge deficit, and not about his moral character. Even knowing that it is not good to do, he does it anyhow. Only a shortage of what? Here it is necessary to find.
Even in a situation of abundance, when the baby is there, and even more, it can happen to him. Then maybe it's due to lack of heat? And maybe parents themselves lack the warmth, lost somewhere in this race for "tomorrow"? Then the child in search of a substitute heat.
"I want the same.. certainly the same here and now" - may have been the motive of the child. What is it about? "Someone always better than me," he is, and I do not.. and to be the same, baby takes a this thing. To plug this gaping hole inside. Maybe this kid does not praise one.. just.. not for "achievements"? Just because it is what it is. In his efforts to learn how he makes his small steps that are impossible not to notice... and I Hear often: "what is this Doodle? What have you drawn?" asks with disappointment the mother of a 3 year old child. To draw at least a circle, he need to learn... Mom kind of understands that he needs time, but it's a feeling that something is wrong, he is not trying, wish it was better... it is always there.. Where is it? What about your own story mom?
the Conversation about this difficult, unpleasant.. anyway parents have to see their "blind spots". The child does not become the owner of any symptom in itself.. it's always a reflection of the family system. It's hard to admit it. Only we must remember that the parents will not be perfect, the guilt will accompany more or less, but all.. And only honesty and desire to correct already talking about the fact that parents on the way to resolution. And they'll find it, I believe)).
Olesya Vladimirovna Bubnov - clinical psychologist, child psychologist.