there are No unsolvable problems, there are unpleasant decisions.

Erich Bern

Sometimes the problem with which the client comes to seem insoluble, not only himself. The therapist is also a man, and it so happens that the tangle of contradictions, which puts in front of him on the table the client seems to be completely unsolvable. What to do in such a situation? Which wire should pull to the knot of problems started to come loose?

of system, There are "strings" that allow you to parse complex problem in the "cogs". The article offers brief tools to quickly determine the direction for the work.

Step 1. Diagnostics. You must determine what is the problem: with themselves a, other with the people or with the external world.

the Problem is with yourself. don't have the confidence, motivation, some valuable qualities of a kind of self-esteem or self-acceptance

the Problem is with other people. Not satisfied with the relationship with someone, do not add up family, loved ones or friendly relations.

the Problem with the outside world. Have difficulty in the outside world, for which a vague solution to it, the impasse.

Step 2. Level. This "thread" exposure is primarily suited for problems associated with the very a, although it can be used for any other. Here you need to understand the level at which the problem occurred: instrumental, intentional or semantic.

Instrumental – the context level, some action or skills.

Intentional – associated with the goals, values, or beliefs.

Semantic – here, the focus questions identify yourself and your purpose in the world.

If you get to determine the level at which the problem occurred, then all you need to do is increase the level of perception of the problem. As Einstein said "you cannot solve a problem at the level where it arose".

that is, if you lack motivation, you need to raise the level of importance of purpose, how to add other values or understanding of who's behind it or what it's about.

Step 3. Position of perception. This step works best for problems in the relationship with the other. This is the second dimension or the second "thread" that allows you to quickly find direction to solve. Here you should focus on is, what the position of perception of the "stuck" client: the own or the other. There is also a third position of perception, is well known in the NLP. This is the position of casual observer or relations in General.

Moving between these three positions is an implementation of identity/disidentification. Association with other position or the position of the observer causes the client to step back from their own positions, often associated with the problem.

the Tool position of the transition is somewhat similar to the step 1. This is not surprising because this transition is associated with the change of the world model or map of reality. This technique allows to expand own understanding of a problem situation.

Step 4. Point on the time axis. What time is the problem: last, real or future? Each of these options is associated with different elements of the change process. This "thread" impact is suitable for the solution of difficulties connected with the external world, although can also be used as a strategy to address any problems.

Past – causes the problem to emerge.

Real – the current status, including obstacles to get what you want, and possible resources to overcome them.

Future – the desired state of Affairs and possible resources for achieving the goal of the future.

Describes three dimensions: level, the position of perception and time provide the tools for you to quickly find a possible solution to the problem. You can use them separately or all together at the same time. For example, when working with the parent requirements you can use all the tools listed above. There will be a movement to a point past at the time of receiving negative attitudes, and the transition between the positions of parent and child, as well as the search for positive intentions and deeper meaning of the behavior of the parent.

Usually the problem is that it narrows the perception of themselves, others and the world. Described in the article "strings" allow you to extend the perception of reality of the client.

Complete want to be a parable about how we ourselves allow problems to appear in our lives.

the Professor began his lesson with, picked up a glass with a small amount of water. He held it up so that all saw him, and asked students:

— How much do you think this glass weighs?

In the audience whispered excitedly.

— About 200 grams! No, 300 grams, perhaps! And maybe all 500! – began to hear the answers.

— I really don't know for sure until I weigh it. But now it's not necessary. Here is my question: what happens if I keep a glass within several minutes?

Nothing!

— Really, nothing terrible will happen, – replied the Professor. – What happens if I hold this glass in an outstretched arm, for example, two hours?

— Your hand will start to hurt.

— what if a day?

— Your hand will be numb, you will have a severe muscle disorder and paralysis. Might even have to go to the hospital – said one of the students.

— what do you think the weight of the glass change the fact that I'm his whole day going to hold?

— No! – confused said the students.

— what you need to do to fix this?

— Just put the glass on the table! – fun said one student.

— Sure! – happily replied the Professor. – And Affairs with all vital difficulties. Think of any problem some minutes and it will be there for you. Think about it for a few hours and it will start to suck you. If you think the whole day, it will paralyze you.

you Can think about the problem, but usually it's going nowhere. Her “weight” is reduced. To cope with the problem only allows action. Take it up or lay aside. It makes no sense to wear on the soul heavy stones, paralyze you.

P. S.-based material model, known as the "workspace of NLP", the purpose of which was to unite in a single whole the various elements of this discipline just as Einstein developed the physics for a unified field theory.

Vostrukhov Dmitry Dmitrievich,

psychologist, NLPt-psychotherapist, consultant in the welfare

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