At any head, be it a simple line Manager or CEO, sometimes there are unrealistic expectations. The problem is that some of these expectations prevail most of the time. Such leaders do not take into account the actual situation and the habit of relying on experience at other companies. In addition, they can be subordinate to someone more aggressive, or overly optimistic than they are.

Working on these people, you may feel doomed to failure. To challenge the older posts and even just to argue may be unsafe. You can have the data or experience, contrary to the instructions of the boss, however you will be required to perform each requirement that you think is incorrect.

Instead of assign or update resume for new job search, try to apply several approaches, outlined below. They will help to achieve a more stable position in the company and strengthen relationships with a demanding boss.

control your body, you control a

If, because of pressure from the boss you live in a permanent state of stress, to calm down, to gather my thoughts and to take deliberate action. One of the best ways to calm down and avoid the so-called "cascade protection" is to use "sensory-motor" or stabilizing interference. With a simple anchoring practices can calm the body and send signals to the brain that you are not in immediate physical danger. Their clients I teach the invisible method, the essence of which is that they need to concentrate on the sensations in your feet. By this method you can use sitting or standing quickly and discreetly pinning his legs to the floor and feeling the contact of the toes and heels with a solid surface. You need to take a deep breath, then inhale and only then think about what you want to say or do.

Agree with the chief in principle, and then share realistic details

Theoretically, you and your supervisor have a common mission and goals, and by showing this, you may be able to explain how in reality the situation with what the boss demands of you. One of the top managers with whom I worked did not want to hear about the practical details of the implementation of their decisions and take them into account. He ignored any interference and make sweeping statements about what will reach his team, assuming that such valuable initiatives will be easy to implement. The team has struggled to fulfil his promises and was forced to accept that customers and other units of the organization accuse it in an incomplete or failure for implementation of the stated goals.

I spent coaching session for this group and taught employees to describe their boss steps that will seem him winning and which they can take to achieve results. I was advised to start the discussion with a phrase like "Let me share my thoughts on how to do it with minimal losses" to prepare the head for realistic solutions, not to point out to him the problems that he does not want to hear.

Another approach we used was to agree to the requests of the head, not hanging on them the label of "Unrealistic." In this case, the conversation could go something like this: "I understand that you want X. I've tried Y, and I'm worried about Z. Let's discuss what could be next steps." The leader of these employees continues to build grandiose plans, but over time he learned to listen to details about what happens, and that is the problem, and now often together with the employees engaged in the search for more workable solutions.

deep into it and quickly get useful feedback

not always, your boss is building unrealistic or unreasonable plans. Often he just can't clear them to justify. Instead of just thinking to myself "What nonsense!", make sure you understand what your boss wants.

After I suggested that disordered Finance Director to think about the motives of risk averse CEOS, and not just about its requirements, it has developed several scenarios and tables that helped the CEO to choose a plan of action, which seemed to her to be simultaneously daring and safe. We came up with phrases like "Look at these scripts and tell me what aspects you feel are correct, and I will rely on them" and "I know that you are concerned about the risk of too large and rapid investment. I was able to build scenarios and to reflect factors that do you need?". These repeating several times the interaction time-consuming, but help not to stray from the right path and help strengthen the sense of partnership that will help you to develop a trusting relationship with your supervisor.

Think about changing your relationship with the boss or not

Determine the style and approach of its leader to understand how to change his attitude towards you depending on whether you are proactive or reactive. The Agency's owner, whom I consulted, had not indulged in flights of fancy and relied on them in their unrealistic expectations. When his staff learned often and consistently share relevant information, he began to think more practical. My other client, who worked as the CEO of a publishing company, learned to notice that it becomes too dreamy, if answered directly was asked if he is building current plans or dreams. And another friend head could curb their appetites only when employees constantly for several days attracted his attention to relevant data.

Even if you all said and done, remember: while you remain at this job, it is your responsibility to help your team, and the leader needs to be and look successful. No matter what the disappointments were no job related with the head, detached from reality, your goal is to fulfill the mission of the organization, while maintaining sanity and self-respect.

About the author. Liz Kislik (Liz Kislik) helps companies within the Fortune 500 and non-profit organizations and family businesses to solve their most difficult problems. He teaches at new York University and Hofstra University.