What to do in case of domestic violence?

every year in the US from a violent death, killed three thousand women. In Russia twice (and the population is twice smaller).

domestic Violence is when one partner tries to assert and maintain their power over others and control the other partner. This includes physical, mental, economic and social violence. Physical violence is the most obvious, because it leaves traces of a beating, but the other types of to detect is more difficult. For example – being forced to have sex when my wife told that if she refuses sex, she is a bad wife. Or hard control, with severe restrictions on expenditure, the correspondence, the Internet, socializing with other people. In such cases, the abuser often inspires everyone around the victim including that to blame herself. But it is not – violence 100% the fault of the rapist and only he.

domestic violence occurs in cycles, in a specific pattern. After a period of tension that can last long enough, there comes the phase of "discharge" when the rapist starts to torture his victim begins to beat, scandals, threatened, publicly humiliated, etc. After that comes the phase of reconciliation, during which the abuser apologizes, promises not to do it anymore, buys gifts, sends the victim to rest on the sea, etc. At this point, the relationship becomes very good and sometimes even better than before, it seems that all behind. The victim really believes it. But then all must be repeated. This greatly discourages the victim. Over the years, the periods of "warming" are becoming shorter and more aggression.

If you encounter such, you should not immediately run away nowhere from such a relationship, but we should not tolerate them. First, you must tell your partner that you don't like it and you'll leave him. Then find out if he wants to change after what you said to him. If the partner is entirely sure that he is right and is not going to change, then it is necessary to prepare for departure. If you want, then you need to send it to professionals – a psychiatrist or psychotherapist. It needs to work with them in the present, not in words. This period will be a good idea if you live somewhere else, separately. If not – leave.

in Any case do not think that anything from you is independent and does not try to change for the sake of the tyrant, to adjust to his wishlist - what would you do, a rapist will always find an excuse to humiliate you or hit you. the violence is 100% the fault of the rapist and only he!!!

Here are the basic rules of conduct that will help to understand how to act in case of domestic violence:

1. Do not attempt to confront the abuser, this further inflames it, to leave immediately (unless it's a threat to your life).

2. For such cases, prepare in advance, and hide in a secret place, a package or bag with documents, a small amount of money, the duplicate keys to apartments and cars.

3. In any case, do not cover the rapist – it gives him more confidence in his impunity. Tell all your family and friends and neighbors about what is happening. This can be a shame, but this shame is not yours, and rapist, this is it, you instilled in him. Such a move would be little to restrain the tyrant.

4. Find support. Let it will be those people that you trust. Tell them what's really going on.

5. Find and agree on a safe place for yourself. The rapist about him must not know. Maybe it will be two places.

6. Leave when he is out if he has calmed down. If this situation is happening right now – try to leave unnoticed.

7. In case of emergency, call the police, preferably in a call center and 102 where the conversation is being recorded. During conversation clearly identify the facts – who, when and where applies you violence.

8. Find out what programs to combat domestic violence, act in your city. Write down their numbers in your phone.

9. Be sure to lock their injuries, including photograph.

10. Contact the police a statement.

Remember – do not attempt to resist violence alone. I do not believe that a tyrant will change by magic. You live person who has the full right to live a normal full life, with love, care and respect!

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