What to do schizoid? The question that I asked one of my subscribers, one of the publications on the schizoid. In this article, I would like to answer it. As far as I understand the crux of the issue: what to do with schizoid? — is the question: how to resolve the main internal conflict of the schizoid? To choose relationship or isolation, detachment, loneliness?
In the first place, it would be desirable to notice that probably no one on this topic, it is impossible to meet certain, specific advice, like: do this and you will be happy. In this issue, I hold similar opinions. But of course some tips and directions can be very useful in order to better understand yourself and determine what to do next.
so: the first thing you need to do with the conflict is to bring it into balance. Conflict is, by and large, the two poles of the world, such as: isolation-relationships. Usually, schizoid tend to either completely go into isolation and remain in solitude, or to leave the relationship, to merge and never separate.
And here the task is to come to some balance, some middle. The first time, you are likely to understand from time to time of failure, it will be difficult to keep the middle — and that's fine. It's like riding a bike. In fact, the ability to stay on the bike - this is the ability to keep the balance not to fall to the left or right. Or, for example, as walking with a cane rope. By the way this cane is for you can serve as psychotherapy.
in General, for schizoid psychotherapy highly recommended. Because it's like an artificially created relationship, the only relationship in which the schizoid can acquire a secure attachment. This is the place where you will not use, manipulate you, to do something not in your favor. Where the therapist is a support, it is here, the same cane, which will help to find a balance and see if you start to tilt in some direction. Relationship where I can tell what's going on, but it's your decision only on your own.
although it is an artificially created environments, but the emotions and relations at the same time, inside her real. It just is what can help the schizoid to understand how to build relationships, how to approach, move away, how to choose a distance. Because, by and large, for the schizoid main difficulty is the choice of distance. It is easier either to remain in loneliness and to say goodbye to the relationship, or fully merge with another person.
In psychotherapy taking the time is long, you will probably need a year or two to learn, pass on their own experience and to experience a secure relationship. After which, you may be able to enter into a relationship with other people in real life.
If you have at the moment, there is no way to refer to psychotherapy: I would recommend schizoid, which is really very remote and isolated, still pull themselves together and go into society. To go to any events, lectures, studies, dancing, find a new hobby in which you'll be something to do together. You may find some interest group, usually make it easier. To go out and look for a company, learn, make friends, chat. Yes, maybe sometimes you get burned. Yes, in such moments, would hurt. Yes, I know there are many evil men, unfit, unworthy. Yes, you will run into. Yes, you will hurt. Yes, you are likely to again, at some point will go back to himself.
But this is normal, this is normal: go back sometimes, in life, sometimes to leave again, to survive this wound, recover, pereplet, and again to go to the people.
the Main problem of schizoid dynamics, the moment when it becomes problematic it is when a man decides that now, I got one, two, three “bad” person – it means all such means around just like that. It is, by and large, the injury, is the injured schizoid. This is how to hang one pattern at all. That's got these people all around so this means I will come across only these are “bad”. I'd rather stay home, in isolation.
it is important to remember that, Yes, in the world there are a lot of bad, bad people, but besides them, there are other, normal, good people. I think you consider yourself a good person. This means that your task is to find the same good man. At least 3-4 good man for friendship and one for personal relationships. All of this will be enough! But you need to look for, burn, search, else, open, talk about yourself. Don't be afraid to ask for help, to ask for some internal support. Of course, open for a little bit, no need to pour his heart and soul, open and unlock what the person in front of you. Yours or not, try to feel: ask yourself questions, look.
Another thing, if you unconsciously intended to still be in isolation. Or if you unconsciously have a belief that everything you hurt, hurt, hurt, then you'll either find people, injuring you or every person to see only the bad, bad people. It is in this, too, can be dangerous.
But in other ways, but to go, try, burn, wound, heal the wound, and again to go into a relationship, no. For in the end, you will be able to find the right people and surround yourself with them. It is a long process that can take years, but there are no other options. The only exception might be therapy, where you for a year or two, will be able to find that balance and gain the ability to enter into relationships, break them, and so on. I wish you success in this difficult but very important matter! And if there are still questions, please ask!
you can Watch my video on the topic of psychology and psychotherapy here https://www.youtube.com/user/larisaBandura