In the course of work often have to face with such an expression, which is expressed by women clients: - "I don't trust men and therefore can't build a normal relationship." Of course, in each case, the situation is very personal and contains a lot of nuances, but you can select something in common. In my opinion, lies behind this phrase is somewhat different, even at times not always a conscious assertion that a woman does not trust in their relationships with men. After all, life is very different men some do lie, betray, cheat, but there are honest, decent and true. To influence in some way on all men, and know everything about them for women impossible, as they are not in the zone of its control. But this kind of trust issues, naturally not appear out of nowhere. In most cases, the woman in my life had a negative experience, and sometimes, this happened repeatedly, and on the basis of her subjective experience and there is a distrust of all men contract that in turn does not help to build any relations, not to mention the love and emotional intimacy. And I want a woman to do that, especially in relationships, but not trust is the cornerstone, and I want to trust and scared. Here are several points which should be taken into account when considering this issue.
return to the Past is impossible, but it is possible to perform and to make certain conclusions. It is not strange, but it is the analysis of past failures can help to avoid mistakes in the present and the future. We all know the saying about the rake, which should not occur continuously, so as an example, one of the clients after this analysis conclude that it does not fit any of the men she's Dating. She made it a rule that under no circumstances is she to continue is not found and will not start novels with colleagues. Another in the same way I came to the conclusion that if the man is married is taboo. No matter what. Only full total, compliance with such rules for itself will reduce the level of distrust towards men, as with other possible a completely different story.
Relationships can be compared to a river that has different depths and bottom topography. When you enter the river the water knee-deep, then waist-deep, and then you swim, but you can jump out of the boat in the middle of the river, head down, and there is rock bottom.... In relationships, people often jump out of the boat, which sometimes ends sadly. First, in this case, partner, which still not much is known receives a large amount of information about what a woman, what she lives, what her problems, dreams and as a conclusion, the idea that the woman he's with will be able to implement everything / often this occurs when a woman seems that the man that is same, Prince on a white horse/. The phrase "I gave him all of myself opened up and gave, and he a reptile escaped and how to trust after that?" in such situations are not uncommon. It is worth to note that sometimes costs a bit to reduce the amount of information, especially in the beginning of the relationship. Still, in a strange river it is better to enter a little. Secondly you should not try to give up at this stage too much. Often, in such situation women are very little attention to, something in the behavior of his chosen, but his words, but in vain. Nobody can say in plain text "Honey, I'm in the family, in General, a tyrant and a bore." By and large, only human behavior in different situations can characterize the person and to allow to know him better. It could be joint visits, a trip somewhere, discussing something, not to provoke the man to perform feats, but the request to meet after work appropriate. A lot of useful information you can get about a person when you are doing something together, from planting flowers, to going to the store. When a person tells something about himself he wants people to think of him that way. Therefore, words and actions may differ dramatically, this applies not only to men))
a Very important point is respect yourself and love yourself/ not to be confused with narcissism/. The question of internal borders you want to show, but not demonstration of power, love of self, and the consequence of an adequate attitude to the partner. Example: not enough sleep, anyone will feel irritable. So if you Wake up in the morning at 7 then bed have to go to 11, 23 phone calls later 00 you are in this case not happy/ there are exceptions - the wish sweet dreams/, which will affect the next day and the relationship with the partner. But if the woman herself does things that say that to yourself in her attitude, so-so, and the man, seeing this, will treat a woman as well. If she believes that it is possible to sort things out with him until 4 am, then the conclusion is obvious. But initially, on the behavior of men was assigned very different expectations.
to Change other people is impossible, we can only change something in yourself to become happier. Pay attention to your feelings and emotions, to learn to find where previously lost.
Live with joy! Anton Black.