Resentment - a strong feeling that arises in a relationship.
If the relationship did not work out, resentment may be natural, but you can not depend on it.
One of the pillars that support your resentment – a sense of injustice.
It is the sense of injustice fills you with righteous anger and fuels your hatred and desire to continue to be offended. You experience mixed feelings – on the one hand the desire for vengeance, on the other – that the offender came, apologized, etc.
for Example, your husband is gone. If you think that's unfair – you are giving the makeup of his offense, again and again accuse him. "It's not fair, it was different." But the story difficult to fix if something already happened. And then you do not let go of this man, he is always near you. And scrolling through again and again what happened, you remain in an unresolved situation.
WHAT to DO.
now imagine that you treat this incident as fact, not appreciating his justice. Yes, it hurts, and you need to live this pain. But it will end, sometime. You will not be wasting time on the restoration of justice to this man.
Stop to evaluate the event as fair or not. It will not change in its essence.
Give yourself the opportunity to live the feelings of pain, anger, sadness regarding your situation.
Tell yourself, this has already happened, and no matter the event is true or not, it is important what to do next – and you have options.
Take your time and attention to how to get out of this situation, you need to do.
If you still think of fairness, tell ourselves what it will be for you to speak? There must be a reliance on reality. When you think "it's fair if he comes back," perhaps you wishful thinking. What will be more realistic in the case of your divorce? For example, fair division of property or alimony for the children.
And you will have the opportunity to do something to adapt to the new conditions of life without getting stuck in the old ways of existence, to learn to live differently, changing your habits gradually.