What to do with a grudge against the former. Part 2.


the Second pillar of your resentment – your expectations. Even if you broke up, you still have something to do with that man and resent him because you don't get what you want.

It may be expectations about what was not done to you once, "If he did not... If he could understand me... If he was more careful..."

If you have children, you have common interests and you are more likely to interact with a former partner. And offended you can't to past and present actions: “It is not as involved in parenting… He's not helping financially…”

You can wait for help, a certain relationship to you, perform some obligations.

Write a letter to your partner. To send is not necessary. Write what you resent. What do you expect from him? What action, what manifestations?

the Practice of writing will help clarify your thoughts, understand your true desires and needs. When you articulate your feelings, the tension subsides.

If your expectations come true, what would you get? What is the need satisfied?

Ask yourself why it gives you such a pain?

You can see that what you expect from a partner, he is unable to give you, and as you continue to wait, you are owned by annoyance and irritation.

When we are offended,  we believe that our well being depends on another person, we expect that if he changes his actions, then everything will work out.

As you would expect from a former partner doing something, you find it difficult to find other ways to solve the problem.

Aim your efforts not on the accusations of the former partner, and to really get what you want: assistance, attention, good attitude, financial independence....

once you direct your attention on solving your problems, you will have the way for implementation of the plan.

If you don't feed your resentment unfounded expectations, then you are faster than  will be able to cope with it and go back to caring about their own interests.

Start : https://www.b17.ru/article/124363/

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