What to do with the experience when it had not responded?


so, something happened to respond failed, and then there's a strong feeling (e.g. anger).

the First step is to respond to what failed in the existing situation discharge. Agree, that save does not make sense, especially since it is not useful. Because this feeling can be fired at any time, if, that is, "accumulated", found a suitable case, it may itself uncontrollably to pop up. After this may come an internal relief, it was discharge. But another person who was caught under the hot hand, can be unjustly wronged or injured. Therefore it is better to use other ways, depending on which one is available.

☑I Inside lose situation - how could it be if it did. Moreover remember that thinking and doing are two different things, and in our imaginations we can enhance some action, to feel that we begin to let go. That is, if your anger is the moment when you use this method, so strong that for all - in your fantasies You can play any scenario (for example, if you stepped on the foot in the subway, and you're unlikely in life would be to move in response, these fantasies on the other foot you can at least dance to 😅). Remembering that it's just a fantasy, and you are unlikely would have done so in life.
☑I Tell them about the situation to someone, Express your feelings in the story. "You know, today I was so angry, that uuuh...". Then the other will suffer, and you are a little will cool down, and can even support get.
☑this is If you experience the same anger too strong, then at worst any bodily acting out, which will not harm you or someone else (to beat the proverbial bag) also works, because a lot of the tension we have accumulated in the body. It is important not to push yourself emotionally even more, and to give an opportunity to exhale.

the Second step is to think about the situation. Try to answer the following questions:
❓the moment I felt this experience (for example anger)
❓exactly How I felt? Where it was in the body, what it was
❓What preceded this moment, what your needs are affected (for example: you did something that took effort, and effort is not justified; I would like a different attitude to yourself, and the person showed a lack of sensitivity; you was waiting for something but not received; you received, but not others.)
❓interrupting the moment to change the situation (for example, to ask for what I need)
❓interrupting to say about his experience (it is not necessary to sweep away everything in its path, if you're angry, you can tell about your anger and through its expression to respond)

And now - lifehack. AS a RULE we rarely have one without the other. Well, that is just acting out without further analysis, usually to no good does not, and the analysis without a response virtually impossible. Agree, when we are upset, what you can think of. And when I managed to blow off a little steam, it's easier. Therefore, the recipe - first reaction and then analysis. Not stirred :)

Pescina Valeria
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