the
do you have setbacks, dear friends?
I Have.) Embarrassing moment, of course, and do not want this, but there are.
Well, the question arises - what failures do?
I will Offer my version, and you may add your own.)
so, my version)
first, recognize that failure is a natural part of life. A normal part of life any person. Here you can imagine, dear friends, that turns everything in the best possible way? Well, everything?? And always?))
Another thing - as to failure to treat.
And here is something to think about and to talk.
Who likes to experience failure? The question is rhetorical.) Hardly anyone wants to fail in any case.
Although... sometimes it Happens that the person doing something, wants to (consciously or subconsciously) so that it doesn't work.
Yes, here is such a paradox!
I Suppose that this could be when a person does something that he wants not himself, but rather someone's (not their) will. And wants, for example, to annoy him who is pushing the action.
Sometimes subconsciously wants to annoy. And sometimes quite consciously.
Then failure as if getting lucky)) This can be a kind of revenge. Or a kind of lesson to someone directly so right to say it is impossible.
Well, for example, "spite grandmother frostbitten ears!")) Let my grandma would understand, finally, that it is not necessary to go to me with his irrepressible hyperopia and get me his unsolicited concern, constantly violating my right to make decisions and do things))
I'm kidding, of course, but as you know, in every joke...))
Or adult the child goes to College, which for him was chosen by the parents.
He fails the entrance examinations, although well in school and showed great promise... parents! Who dreamed that their son or daughter will carry out those secret desires that they themselves have not implemented.
of Course, all of us together experiencing this failure with admission to the Institute. That's only for the adult child can begin to do what he is very like.
of Course, it is unknown how he will use these opportunities given to him this "failure", but failure in this case he is clearly at hand!)
And may be such that a person is counting specifically on failure, waiting for her to confirm the opinion that the decision was made correctly. That is looking so prove his innocence. And failure allows it to reinforce their ideas about what for him is right and what is not.
for Example, a girl says to the guy next message. To which he once again did not respond. Is not what she wants. Or not then.
And this botched attempt contact confirms her long ripening decision to end the relationship with that person as unsuitable to her. Mismatched with her for some of her core values (for example).
And the solution, in General, on a subconscious level it has already been made, and this failure (not getting response) only successfully confirmed the correctness of this decision.
In General, the failure failure are different.)
Well, if failure is really bad?
If you really want to do and get the result that I wanted, and did not work?
And feel a strong disappointment...
and, perhaps, anger.
And shame for their ineptitude or lack of goodness...
and, perhaps, guilt.
and the disorder in full...
Or fear that more than anything will never work. the
Or much more anyone can experience depending on some of their characteristics, their ideas and attitudes on life.
What to do in this case?
Well, I guess the first thing to recognize all feelings about this experience. Preferably everything.
And it is advisable to call them words! Yes, it happens that it's very difficult. Then sensible to talk to a psychologist, that helped to realize.
secondly, I note, to remember to breathe!) This, by the way, it is necessary to remember about the time)) Because often it happens that in a moment of strong emotion to breathe forget...) Well, jokes aside, and when my dentist during the reception suddenly said to me: "Breathe", I understand that not breathing) inhale and laugh))
And thirdly, it is important to understand that failure is also result! Desirable undesirable, but the result.
the Real result, which led to real action.
So what kind of action? What?
So, to change the result from undesirable to desirable, you need to change the action.
How to change?
So to change that enough mind at the moment to get a different result.
And to do things differently. But how?
like this:
to evaluate this new the result: successful? bad?
and understand what should be adjusted? what actions?
What to change? Anything to add?
I think you have already understood, my dear readers what I mean?:)
Yes, to what luck-and it - experience! Valuable experience.
Any other way impossible to get experience that will lead to the desired result, except
to do, to think, to analyze, correct and - again to do.
In General, we are gaining experience. And it is acquired only through failure.
Why failure is an indispensable companion of good luck.
As they say, never gets the ball in the net, the one who hits the ball because the probability in this case zero))
And mistakes... what mistakes - they are inevitable. But, if the ball beat you and at the gate to get the probability is not exactly zero))
Well, in General, as may belong...)) Therefore, it is better to treat with understanding))
That is to appreciate failures because we learn! Other way is still there))
I thank you for your attention!
I Will be glad to help you to deal with failures)
For a consultation you can sign up here
http://www.b17.ru/balakhonskaya/#consultation
Register on the website b17.ru and get access to interesting information on practical psychology!
Galina V.
do you have setbacks, dear friends?
I Have.) Embarrassing moment, of course, and do not want this, but there are.
Well, the question arises - what failures do?
I will Offer my version, and you may add your own.)
so, my version)
first, recognize that failure is a natural part of life. A normal part of life any person. Here you can imagine, dear friends, that turns everything in the best possible way? Well, everything?? And always?))
Another thing - as to failure to treat.
And here is something to think about and to talk.
Who likes to experience failure? The question is rhetorical.) Hardly anyone wants to fail in any case.
Although... sometimes it Happens that the person doing something, wants to (consciously or subconsciously) so that it doesn't work.
Yes, here is such a paradox!
I Suppose that this could be when a person does something that he wants not himself, but rather someone's (not their) will. And wants, for example, to annoy him who is pushing the action.
Sometimes subconsciously wants to annoy. And sometimes quite consciously.
Then failure as if getting lucky)) This can be a kind of revenge. Or a kind of lesson to someone directly so right to say it is impossible.
Well, for example, "spite grandmother frostbitten ears!")) Let my grandma would understand, finally, that it is not necessary to go to me with his irrepressible hyperopia and get me his unsolicited concern, constantly violating my right to make decisions and do things))
I'm kidding, of course, but as you know, in every joke...))
Or adult the child goes to College, which for him was chosen by the parents.
He fails the entrance examinations, although well in school and showed great promise... parents! Who dreamed that their son or daughter will carry out those secret desires that they themselves have not implemented.
of Course, all of us together experiencing this failure with admission to the Institute. That's only for the adult child can begin to do what he is very like.
of Course, it is unknown how he will use these opportunities given to him this "failure", but failure in this case he is clearly at hand!)
And may be such that a person is counting specifically on failure, waiting for her to confirm the opinion that the decision was made correctly. That is looking so prove his innocence. And failure allows it to reinforce their ideas about what for him is right and what is not.
for Example, a girl says to the guy next message. To which he once again did not respond. Is not what she wants. Or not then.
And this botched attempt contact confirms her long ripening decision to end the relationship with that person as unsuitable to her. Mismatched with her for some of her core values (for example).
And the solution, in General, on a subconscious level it has already been made, and this failure (not getting response) only successfully confirmed the correctness of this decision.
In General, the failure failure are different.)
Well, if failure is really bad?
If you really want to do and get the result that I wanted, and did not work?
And feel a strong disappointment...
and, perhaps, anger.
And shame for their ineptitude or lack of goodness...
and, perhaps, guilt.
and the disorder in full...
Or fear that more than anything will never work. the
Or much more anyone can experience depending on some of their characteristics, their ideas and attitudes on life.
What to do in this case?
Well, I guess the first thing to recognize all feelings about this experience. Preferably everything.
And it is advisable to call them words! Yes, it happens that it's very difficult. Then sensible to talk to a psychologist, that helped to realize.
secondly, I note, to remember to breathe!) This, by the way, it is necessary to remember about the time)) Because often it happens that in a moment of strong emotion to breathe forget...) Well, jokes aside, and when my dentist during the reception suddenly said to me: "Breathe", I understand that not breathing) inhale and laugh))
And thirdly, it is important to understand that failure is also result! Desirable undesirable, but the result.
the Real result, which led to real action.
So what kind of action? What?
So, to change the result from undesirable to desirable, you need to change the action.
How to change?
So to change that enough mind at the moment to get a different result.
And to do things differently. But how?
like this:
to evaluate this new the result: successful? bad?
and understand what should be adjusted? what actions?
What to change? Anything to add?
I think you have already understood, my dear readers what I mean?:)
Yes, to what luck-and it - experience! Valuable experience.
Any other way impossible to get experience that will lead to the desired result, except
to do, to think, to analyze, correct and - again to do.
In General, we are gaining experience. And it is acquired only through failure.
Why failure is an indispensable companion of good luck.
As they say, never gets the ball in the net, the one who hits the ball because the probability in this case zero))
And mistakes... what mistakes - they are inevitable. But, if the ball beat you and at the gate to get the probability is not exactly zero))
Well, in General, as may belong...)) Therefore, it is better to treat with understanding))
That is to appreciate failures because we learn! Other way is still there))
I thank you for your attention!
I Will be glad to help you to deal with failures)
For a consultation you can sign up here
http://www.b17.ru/balakhonskaya/#consultation
Register on the website b17.ru and get access to interesting information on practical psychology!