" - That I'm at a crossroads in life. I always knew what road
correct. I knew it always! But never went for it... And you know,
why? Because it's so damn hard!"

from the movie "Scent of a woman"

what a joy it would be at the heart of many people who have time for their lives to "mess things up", if elections with which they have encountered in life, in the palette of the evaluation would be closer to two basic colors - black and white. The school and the family parent from childhood, those who in the answer, so many have been taught that good acts do well and bad of course, bad. But seldom or never warned that life will be chock-full of such situations, in which the most difficult will be to understand and distinguish what is good and what is bad for me right now.

the Virtual reception of psychologists and psychotherapists for all sorts of educational sites are filled with letters that are no longer letters even, and cries of despair. Powerless, tearful, full of pain, suffering and despair. To divorce or not to divorce? To leave or to stay? With his wife or to his mistress? With this, reliable, or exciting? To quit this school and to take the risk to gamble or not to tempt fate and continue?

a Situation that is seemingly objective and inexorable right side view, who usually have relatives, colleagues or neighbours are clear and simple for decision making. "Act reasonably", "Weigh all the pros and cons", "plan for the future", "Emotion is a bad adviser", "Listen to experienced people", "Look at the life of the real", "the loving glance of you on the table will not put", "Better get a real profession and not live fantasies". An objective view always looks better in his confidence. But, no matter how thousand times right to "know" the people, the life as a phenomenon is lived by a human is subjective, and therefore opinion from the little that helps to solve so to really bring inner peace. An objective look closer to something in the spirit of "intellectually I understand everything, but with nothing to do can't."

a dead end and often the characteristic that it can not see any clearly good yield. Someone got married in the hope that feelings will come in the process of life together. Because if you think wisely, he was definitely the best party at that time. And the way he was treated, did not go to any comparison with how others were treated. Over time recognizing the other had even formed in absentia strong support from among her relatives and friends. But despite all the creative than filled life together, the love for him didn't come. And then, after a few years of marriage, somewhere in the hotel where I was invited in the last moment, and had to go, she suddenly meets HIM! Now what to do and how to live, is unclear.

Or was someone doing all the flowering years of this kind of social climbing. Threw all their forces to conquer career peaks and on many of these peaks climbed. Even those that are different and do not get in the Mature, closer to sunset. And then, suddenly, faced with the crazy idea that, in fact, all this time I built a monument in his lifetime. Built, and he's such a cold cold. Stone. And not warm at all. And on the solemn date colleagues congratulate the whole team, reading something screen-like " this wonderful day I want to wish...", but my heart is so sad. Because as in the song of youth prophetic: "the House is waiting for a cold bed..." and the rubber proximity with the prestigious a high price tag is not something that is not already satisfied, and even felt some kind of humiliating as a fact. And how can that be, it was the same boy who wanted to be captain. Was promoted to Admiral almost! And there is the joy of which he dreamed, in sight. Just like in the anecdote about the balloons, and the sense of occasion.

Or someone goes a long time to a psychologist or psychotherapist. And, like, helps with something, but also dissatisfaction a lot. Life sad. Somewhere Devchata, I do not remember exactly when, the ability to rejoice. Injustice of prey of the powerful, who seem to never eat. People who parked nearby and opened the door, scratching your. Wife or husband, which have just become different people. As if married or married for absolutely other person. And therapist who studied God knows how many years somewhere in there there is something such that name no one can pronounce, with all their track record can't just come out and say. And how me to be?!!! What do I do now?!!! Instead, says it may seem - as I walk to it while walking to it I largely don't like. And as I continue to live with its pair, although there too, I already very much do not close.

And here is the question: "What can we do about this?!". He is like completely crystallized despair. He is born already when made by so many, and brought this fruit so few (from "negligible") that I want to raise hands and to surrender. Imaginary enemy soldiers or people in white coats in a room with white walls. Anything, only not this painful, unbearable ambiguous choice. When there is something obviously correct, and there is this sounding an alarming note of uncertainty. When you just want to sit somewhere in a corner and hug his head. When you just start to drift. Not thinking at first that the river floating dead fish.

the Most dramatic and poignant moment which so accurately conveys the remarkable Daniel in "Autumn marathon" is the final. That's, like, the hero has got this life-giving anger. That's, like, this life-giving anger turned into a life-giving determination. And he has slammed the door, which has long had to slam. And slap that didn't need to weigh. And gave hands, which have long had to give. And gave the earrings to all sisters, whom they have long asked. And behold, the phone rings, and almost simultaneously the room is quiet is a woman. And we need to make this choice. And need to choose between the two main and, in fact, solely having a weight with the words "Yes" and "No". And he spends the whole movie of this choice was and is ripe for him. And he, now, absolutely it will. And it does nothing. And they run in the morning dark this eternal already seem to cross anywhere. While playing a beautiful and sad music. A sad Comedy.

where there is the fork of the two possible elections, elections, in fact, is almost always at least three. You can choose to do something, you can choose not to do something. And you can do nothing to choose. The same third. Although, when you do not choose, like, nothing happens - how can it be a choice? But the internal subjective reality almost always is that when nothing happens, people are essentially choosing to be unhappy. To be in a cage and not allow ourselves to get out of it. To fantasize about some deferred for estimated future pleasing to the soul plans, recording their fingers in the sand before high tide.

Attempt to change something always to nothing lead. Or even it can lead to a sharp deterioration. And it's scary. It's so scary that it is easier in the moment to even choose suffering. To choose to be unhappy for a long time and are chronically, but not acutely painful, than to change something, the risk of sharply somewhere to fall.

But some people choose, after all, to change. Just as there are those who lives, leaving everything as it is. And those and others are. Who is right? It is impossible to say for sure. In a sense, even no matter what to make a choice - any choice life goes on. Different, different, but it is, it is. Socrates maintained oscillating in the sense that: "Do what you want anyway and then regret it". And the hero of the film admonished a daughter before first romantic night: "If you're sure you remember this with a smile, then go ahead." Perhaps not always to be pitied, and not always get to smile. But the feelings, desires, impulses, pushing doubt and choose are not random.

http://eremeev.org/page/kogda-nichego-ne-proishodit