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Hello friends!

Today I want to talk to you about the relationship. And it is about a situation when the partner is not satisfied, but the relationship continues!

Perhaps you've been (or now are) in such a situation, or the people close to you survive the experience, let's try to understand why it happens and what can be done.

If we consider the "perfect picture of the world", relationships take two people who want it.

But to want you for different reasons!

the Desire to be with another person along may receive from sympathy, interest, desire to "give-get" energy, communication, attention...

And may be dictated by some "external factors" such as:

  • emotional overload from the current age ("time has come and a family, the years are passing");
  • fear not to correspond to the "demands of society", which can form and maintain both native and friends ("now you don't need anybody, and tomorrow you will be useless");
  • compiled once the plan of life and its stages, and a strong desire to follow the plan ("to 25 I'm doing a career of 30 years I am getting married and have at least one child", etc.);
  • fear of being alone (when one thing is extremely important to change, but under no circumstances shouldn't be alone (single));

And this is not the entire list of reasons why people may enter into a relationship!

And now let's see what happens if you create some and start a relationship, suddenly found some nuances or traits of the partner, which are contrary to the initial "picture" or life goals.

If it turns out that, recognizing a person, we understand that it is "not our choice" - we have a choice to stay in this relationship and try person to change, to do so as we need (it may take years, but the goal still not achieved).

Or we can accept the fact that a man of our ways to part, allowing themselves and their partner to find someone who will come to us.

However, who do you think will cling to the relationship, ignoring the fact that the partner does not like, do not fit, brings pain and frustration?

most Likely, it will be the people that entered the relationship for the reasons I've listed above in the list!

When a person it is important to stay in a relationship at any cost (there is such a goal), he (she) would rather try to fix and "fix" the existing partner (or to force yourself to accept the fact that there are), rather than allow myself to lose this relationship!

And then the question arises - "is this worth it, to be so cruel to do to yourself?"

whether the Cost of the sacrifice of the plans that was previously set myself, I was calm loved ones who are so worried that you don't create a family (here and now)?

whether or not to indulge our fears of loneliness or it makes sense to try to deal with them and to get rid of them?

All these issues are extremely important to ask yourself and realize what is really going on - to give yourself a chance at a better life!

If this post was useful or interesting - I appreciate your "thank you")

Your therapist

Ordina Love

a Course on self esteem and loving yourself:

http://www.b17.ru/courses/lyubov_k_sebe_trening/?prt=164804

schedule a consultation

https://www.b17.ru/ordina_lyubov/#consultation


2018-11-26
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