the Boundaries in the relationship theme is very delicate and thin. And with an ax to approach her I think not. And I even dangerous!
When I hear
you Need to let go, not to cling to each other and to be willing to lose...
I feel very cold, sad...
Like everywhere we say - give freedom! Let it go and he'll be back! No one who does not belong... do not have to! And if you understand it right, out of place, not to time and not to the case... But as the saying on all occasions in life in a couple... Expect trouble.
Relationships for any person is of great value. We would them all did not seek if it were not so, right?
When I hear "I'll let him go", I understand that we are talking now not about love, and about the Big disappointment, of Great distress... And, ultimately, the devaluation of everything associated with a loved one. That is, you're not... You, in General, an empty space for me.
Well, isn't it? The truth?
And if at odds, which in principle is inevitable, if for each disorder/problem of the person released, as he must have felt? What a close relationship he would be willing, after so many "goodbyes"? Which in the subtext it sounds like "Die!"
Another thing that we do not understand what we are doing.
When her husband once said, go find yourself someone who... I said stop! I'm with you, I don't want anyone to look, and I am not where to send... Come with me to resolve this issue. I don't want to hear that go where you want, do what you want...
And her husband heard me. And more so did not.
don't lose each other - it is a great value. I'm for that people maintain loved ones at home.
how is this possible if he/she's hurting me, it comes cruel, unfair, and generally a complete idiot/fool that does not understand etc....?
We need freedom to accept the person as is, but not "break" after each fight.
Often, to show that you can walk away - no need. If the partner still threatens you (or you yourself in thought again decided to "let go"), the answer is:
"aren't you important/to me, or what we have. Let's not talk about the break-up, let's about this particular issue. Relations inviolate, let them inside to solve the problem..."
But in cases of close relationship you need intimacy. And you need awareness of the value of these relations. The value of what in fact can lose.
Loved ones "to throw," he said.
I think it is constructive.
We always say to let go of the need... And not have to go! You need to learn to solve the questions with this specific person (and in insult do not give).
we Have 50*50 and the pros and cons. If we bad to rely on relationships will be or when. If you wish bad, you can find a ton, but why?
If we build a relationship of proximity is a close relationship involving mutual empathy. And we need to create boundaries, and
sustained positive emotional connection.
Borders, however, entails a distancing, a lack of empathy, isolation, distrust.
That is, in a relationship - us border even harmful.
But the boundaries we need in matters of law to be yourself and respect his personality. The rest we agree. And the questions "how you can relate to you, as there is no" too we agree. Here you say HOW you can and cannot do to you. And what are your expectations.
What does freedom mean to accept the person as is?
This means to be yourself in the relationship and allow her partner to be a (completely).
for Example, you're a Big/Aya in fact, a lot of know how, could, you know, and the person next is not so. And you're trying to "decrease" under him, to make him more comfortable (you to manage), safer (safer for himself that he doesn't like you).
And that means you at this moment don't take themselves, trying in some way to infringe, to cut.
Or, for example, the man the woman loves... But all the time something in him is trying to correct... It is not accepting it fully.
But when there is acceptance, people like much more getting, the wing spreads (becomes full). It says that he was "in his flock", where he is received where he can be himself.
When we do not accept, what are we? Small, trimmed... in human perception. When themselves do not accept, little understanding of yourself. We then ducks, then swans, depending on the environment that we take for you.
That this woman, while her husband did, he forced her ducks to walk. Took it, and immediately he is a beautiful Swan.
Thus, acceptance of the other (full) and value the relationships create in our lives miracles. Only in this space of possible true love.
Be happy and loved!