Why do people turn to a psychologist?
to understand, to realize, to take, etc. — it is more "advanced" user of psychological services. And for the first time, of course, people seek to regain its former joy. Is the memory or about their own happiness, or the perception of fun and laughter from the people around them.
many feel the joy when getting something from the outside from others. People remember that rejoiced in the discovery of self-love from another, gifts, compliments, surprises, in General, everything that someone gave or if it turned out that I had taken for themselves, achieved, earned, won, etc when needed external objects to achieve happiness for this and come to a psychologist with the words: "What can I do to make the other change?" or "Give a technique that will change my state from negative to positive".
And one of the key questions: "Why and for what? After all before such was not!"
what the "point" of the trajectory of Your life experiencing these issues?
This is the "high point", where the amount of information coming to You for the last time, becomes a new quality. It is the transition to the next level of maturity.
Before it was too, but had narrowed the boundaries of perception, was enough defense mechanisms so as not to see, to deny, to justify, to rationalize, idealize, etc., etc., For the psyche, it was important to survive on that stage, and You survived. The defense mechanisms were also important there and then. Time goes by, everything changes and You change, become stronger, adaptivnoe, and many of the old mechanisms don't fit and "disappear" forever. And here it is, the key question: "Why now not so?"
Because what helped to survive, today we do not need: survived already grown up... And didn't survive, and live, and it turns out that "live" experience. New get scared and retreat to their previous terms of survival. By the way, the presence of new objects (new job, new spouse, change of activity) does not mean that You have reached a new level. It is possible that all again. Why? Because I just dropped the voltage not aware of the causes and mechanisms of depression, boredom, frustration...
here, to live, to feel, to realize.... BUT!!!! Here we have to stop. And how, You ask, to stop and slow down, if the alarm is "sweeping". And You cling to the first "straw" and You feel happiness and joy. time Passes, and it turns out: "straw" all the same, only the name, the place, the territory of the other, and in fact, all the same.
I Noticed that while reading the text You've added here and there? Joy - crash, back and forth, the excitation - inhibition. As two divergent vectors. So here invisibly present experience of despair. Therefore, people may not discover in his life of fun and joy, and if found, then, as I said above, in those moments, when something is received from the outside.
And now the latest studies are full of information about what the state of fullness and happiness do not depend on anything! Neither from money nor from external objects.
YES! It only works for those people who have formed since childhood, a secure attachment. And this, of course, with the parent figures. And in adulthood, these figures "are embedded in the internal structure of the psyche," and these figures - OK! So You look at such a person, he always smile (not artificially stretched) and everything is always OK! And everything is always in abundance.
And what about those who have all the time UPS and downs, from one extreme to the other? Working with despair. To work with parent figures. How? To survive, to develop sensitivity near the psychologist. And all? And that's all! The main thing that it was sensitive and supportive. And then you can go with children's despair that invisibly accompany You throughout Your life and will come and laughter, joy and happiness.
How to understand that I am desperate?
1. I can't be with him alone.
2. When I'm alone, raise the alarm.
3. When you don't know what you want.
How to understand that I been
This is when I'm alone, if I went from someone who went from me if I lost someone or something, I feel inner relaxation and peace.
And from that situation comes the feeling of happiness and the true need to have fun with someone. And the space always responds to a true need.
Courage to You in Your sensitivity and accommodation of despair.