Hello world!

Today we are talking about an important issue - self-confidence. What is it, where and how to obtain - read the post.

First of all, it is important to understand that to be sure inside, and to be confident are two different things. Discover the secret, but many coaches, psychologists, artists, politicians and other public figures in a rather insecure people. But they learned calm demeanor. This means that you can learn to calm demeanor any person (Yes, you!). How? Confident behavior consists of several skills. Talk about one of them: the skill to refuse or skill "No."

To exercise this skill:

1) invent and imagine a situation in which you want to deny. For example, a colleague asks to borrow money, but you don't want (or a close friend asks to borrow money to pay, but you don't want to take for some reason);

2) a phrase of refusal by the formula: a) any failure starts with the word "NO" b) on the contents of failure (what you deny). In the case of money, "I won'T lend YOU MONEY") the justification for the refusal. If the person is close to you, then justifying emotions: "I value OUR FRIENDSHIP AND I don'T WANT to LOSE HER because of MONEY." If the person is not a close, and you do not important to have a personal relationship with him, then the justification of purely formal: "I don'T WANT" (you have the full legal right not to want to take). So, the result was the phrase: "NO, I'm NOT loaning YOU any MONEY, BECAUSE I value OUR FRIENDSHIP AND I don'T WANT to LOSE HER MONEY" (or "I don'T WANT");

3) rehearsal in front of a mirror / partner. Best of all, if it is an experienced psychologist;

4) in a real situation people will try to manipulate you, or show aggression. No one accepts failure the first time)). You should repeat your rehearsed phrase as many times as you want the person to hear you. This technique is called "Broken record"!

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And remember: a rolling stone gathers no moss (or as bill gates says: "Between the ass and sofa, even a single dollar does not slip). Will train your skills - life will immediately begin to change in the desired direction.