When the couple decide to divorce, one of the main issues confronting a couple – the organization of separation.
Unwillingness to see each other and often to interact pushes people to grasp at the first possible variant, where to move. As a rule, many people try to pass each other before making the official ruling. Although history has many examples where the prospect of one or both of the participants become homeless, helped to keep the family together. However, when traveling, people get not only new housing, but also a new schedule that will have to live not only for them but for their children, a new social environment
What are the psychological consequences of the change of living conditions for the child when the parents divorce? What to do for the parents themselves, getting into another home or staying in the same, but without the previous satellite, so as not to aggravate the consequences of divorce for his psyche and the psyche of their children.
Consider the most common situations of separation, when a child is left with someone from parents.
Father after the divorce, found another place to stay and did not apply for housing. Here the psychological loss to the child is minimal. He remains in the same house where he lived.
Make a small repair, make children more space than it was before. Try to invite more guests, especially those whom you want to invite your children. It might make sense to make the kitchen cozier, or to provide more space for meals or celebrations.
it is Advisable to be patient and not to violate the distance that the child may initially install, it simply may not have the strength to support that you expect from him. The child may be suspended and spend time in a place that reminds him of the father. You should not interfere with him in this, such a change in his behavior is temporary. Even if the parting with her husband passed in a negative key, it makes sense to throw out all his stuff there's no, as children, quite naturally, you can continue to love his father. It would make sense to take care of the place in the house where the child could meet and fellowship with the father.
very common situation — the former spouses go to different places. The child is changing school and friends. All previous recommendations apply to this option. Allow your child to invite more friends, especially from the last place of residence — this will help him to enter into a new life smoothly, thrilling experiences will be less. With children it is desirable to emphasize the positive features of a new home. The apartment is away from school so will have more time to get some fresh air. Got the last floor - wonderful, over the head is not noisy and stomping neighbors and what a view. A small home requires less hassle and money. Of course, moving to a new place it is very troublesome, coupled with a large number of issues which before you didn't even have to deal with: design, repairs, purchase of missing items and items. You will have time to make your temporary rate, based on the capabilities you possess. But the conflict, affected in a most unpleasant way for you and the child in particular, either, and that's incredibly important.
Return to her parents.
In certain cases happens so that the mother with the child (Ren) after a divorce, moves in with his parents, who are often very happy. Removed from the part of domestic problems, but there are new psychological difficulties. Your new status doesn't allow you to be a child in the parental home, although the parents you can see so far. Your parents can continue to treat you and your children are about the same, not recognizing your authority. Its position is extremely important to identify immediately after moving. It makes sense to take on some responsibilities at home, indicate how you intend to spend leisure time. The space allocated to you and to the child it is desirable to organize at their own discretion, based on the experience from the previous place of residence. So the child will be much easier to get used to a new place where they will live for a long time people with its own established order. Try to find the words to explain to parents the need to change conditions in the room where the child will live with, if initially they are not very good. In any case, should not be a criticism of you by the parents in the presence of children. One of the most common reactions after draw-grandparents to grandchildren — pity, the children really suffered after the divorce, pity is allowed until that time, help and care for grandchildren does not turn into a slogan, "poor child, no it is now not necessary."
Former place, live as neighbors.
it so Happens that disperse quickly fails and the wife continues after divorce to live in the same apartment. Not the best option, and if you cannot disperse in the space, try to disperse in time as possible. You can agree to take turns to eat and invite guests. Attempts to stab the former satellite using child can return to the form of the aggressiveness of the child. No matter how hard, don't condemn domestic blunders of the former spouse in the presence of a child. Avoid household scandals, you can divide duties and responsibilities relating to child care and to run them in quiet mode , it is important to find options that they were comfortable and did not infringe the somehow one or both former spouses at once . Father takes the kid to school before work and takes them back to the Laundry thing, the mother of the child takes from school , wash house floors, etc. Cooperation between the former spouses in terms of joint care of the child will not remain without attention with a plus sign.
whichever of the above options are by place of residence you have developed, you need to remember where you are moved, it is important that the child left his familiar world — a world where he'd feel loved and protected. br>