Recently, on my Facebook page I asked the question: "What (or who) you are jealous?".
Most admitted that they are jealous of talented, energetic, traveling, confident, children and even those who simply has the ability to sleep. The ranks of the latter, as mother of little girl, I've got.
And, of course, there were people who flatly refused to admit to envy, calling it unnecessary, senseless and sinful feeling.
is it really? Is it really worth fighting with envy, or you can make your online? This is what I want to talk to you today.
to Begin with, that envy is a complex social feeling. It is and interest, and the desire to possess someone else, anger, sadness, disappointment and even shame for that feeling.
a Small child comes to the Playground and sees a lot of beautiful new toys. So want to ride this colorful machine! He almost reaches for her, but here comes mom. "Mike, honey, it's someone else's!". Here it is the first feeling of the desire to possess what belongs to another, and it immediately imposed a ban. "Shame on you! Envy bad! Good boys (girls) do not envy! Be happy with what you have!".
Sounds good, just imagine what would happen if the world did not have this feeling. Idyll or utopia?
Jealousy is very much connected with desires.
When I envy my friend who is getting married, I actually meet at this point with his desire of a happy relationship, to love and be loved.
the more I envy, the more I want. Another question, what am I doing with my desires? How is it that I'm projecting it onto others and do not recognize in yourself?
an Extreme version of the condition where you no one and nothing are jealous of is depression. I am such a mess, the world seems so dull, boring, tasteless, that I absolutely do not care who marries who went round the world trip, and who won a million dollars in the lottery. My desire is dormant, and therefore for others I do not react.
Envy is directly related to development and evolution.
If people were always happy with what he has, he would never be able to achieve a new, to learn and to develop their abilities and talents. It would simply be degraded.
Children jealous of their parents, their for adults things, possibilities. In one program known TV presenter asked a three-year girl who she wants to be when he grows up. The answer is "I'm going to cut with a knife," laugh the whole room, although the girl only talked about wanting to be a chef.
Here it is envy, in a very strong desire that now does not belong to me. Is it because we so wanted to grow up quickly, to the adult the world has become available to us?
Envy towards a certain person, his qualities, talents can become the first "light" to what is worth trying in this direction. Training also occurs through envy.
for Example, I teach a foreign language and I really want to start talking like my teacher or favorite actor. Deep down, I know what just exactly I never will. But I have a motive, vector, I know what I can strive for.
As you can see, envy can be a very powerful resource if to use them correctly.
And yet, envy can have devastating effect, then it is called toxic, "black", referring to sins and vices. This is envy, when you either "eat" themselves, feel "bad", unworthy. Or when you seek to harm the object of envy.
what determines whether the envy of the resource or the destroyer?
~ From your self-esteem.
If you are convinced that you are nothing and that it's just others can get, and no matter what you are not capable, envy can only deepen the sense of worthlessness and inferiority.
~ how often you compare yourself with others in their favor.
most Likely, it was born in childhood, when parents gave you the example of other children, and you on their background devalued. And you grew up with that all the time to look at others. Envy here is getting the radioactive poison that will imperceptibly to take the last rudiments of self-confidence.
~ How much you idealize others, and how to really see yourself.
the Expression "blinded by jealousy" I used to envy. How often we envy the perfect and not the real image of man. Beautiful pictures and statuses in social networks, a certain vagueness in communication, and you are full of envy toward a friend, a colleague or a media person. The bug is that you cannot see the ordinary life of this man, and you yourself at this point is likely to diminish, with a perfect picture.
be Jealous or not? You decide. I would compare envy is a poison that can heal and kill. All depends not only on dosage but also on how well you know yourself, hear your desires, trust them.. are you Ready to take the risk to jump once over the rainbow to surpass himself?
more on envy, and most importantly, how to make her online, I tell in his new video "How to make the envy of their resource."
And what is your relationship with this feeling? In what points envy has helped you, and when harmed?