the

Who is responsible for what?

the Subject of responsibility has always interested me. I am the oldest child in the family and it was normal for me to be responsible for her younger sister. Without excesses, of course. But this responsibility I felt for her always. Even where I shouldn't have. I think I always will.

Even if she was hurt in the yard, I felt guilty that I was not there when I need them.

I grew up, but the responsibility remained. In periods of enthusiasm I felt responsible for everything in this life without me the whole world would literally plunge into the abyss.

And what was my surprise that in the moments when I did not control, the world just continued as if not noticing my absence.

Imagine how hard it was for me? And I was incredibly hard. The goods for me was to put it mildly is not feasible. But even harder for me to beat own anguish and denial of reality that no one notices if I stop controlling and worrying that everything will go wrong. And it was not. And I had to give up the crown of the Almighty human, but she is so warm hitting me in the head!

And now, after another failure of the health hysteria that no one understands me like the poor thing hard, and I do it for all (to anyone for all? Who me about it? - if I then asked such questions!) I have something clicked. And a tiny voice in my head voiced his doubts about the faithfulness of my perception of the world.

I was shocked, but still interested to have this information. Decided to figure out on paper (I always do), and if this control and concern for the world needs only me, just the lack of them, no one notices.

I figured it was stunned, of course. I just refused to believe that I complicate your life, that's what I decided that are responsible for everything, and that except for me nobody wants that!

“This is the life I want for myself? ” I asked myself and decided that no.

That reply I want only for themselves.

And how are you with responsibility? For that answer you? Not heavy do your share, as once mine?


2019-06-14
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