"I came to You for advice!" In the eyes of hope and requirement. Another client.
Explain that not give advice.
"Why?" – outrage and charges perepuskajutsja over the edge.
I Want to answer that I was taught at the Institute of psychoanalysis because it is unprofessional and unethical in relation to it.
Begin each consultation as a professional with the explanations of this rule. Begin 15 years of counseling.
What is the advice? It is a turnkey solution.
Whose decision is it? Psychologist, specialist in mental cases, but ... the other person.
whose life was "zaputki"? In this woman's life.
They came because the woman is accustomed to seek advice: from friends, on forums, at my mom's. Or in books like: "How to change the life and become happy" etc etc without these tips gasps. They are necessary as air. And of the numerous tips in your head – in the best case, vinaigrette, and in the worst – soup-Burda or Bourdais (remember Kaprisky from a children's story?)
Please this woman is for me a litmus test. A sign that she is a little familiar state of mind - "the Mistress". No, the soup she cooks is wonderful, the house she order children and her husband with attention and care... But in the mind and soul – what?
Waiting for your advice translates to me. Remember the cartoon about the Ant hurrying to an anthill at sunset? He constantly asked other heroes to bring. And repeated the phrase, "Enter into the situation – do me a favor. I am disabled, my leg hurts. Soon the sun will disappear, the nest will be closed".
what is it? Oh, it's for help and mercy, you say. Yeah, maybe. And after the ride. He was pleased, but still grumbled that's not the way you want. But when he once refused, he issued a stream of accusations and anger. Why? But it's interesting. Refusal of another to be responsible for me, my choices, my life and caused this aggression.
"I am disabled, my life's potholes and pits, I stumble constantly stuffed bumps and bruises. Crutch please, please! Better yet, shoulder the responsibility for my life. You're a psychologist!"
Yes, I am a psychologist. And value the image of a professional. Value the trust of people seeking help. Which was released as a crutch-the Council may, at the first jolt of life to fall out of the hands of such suffering. And then he will go back to the psychologist, it is beneficial. The life of a psychologist is provided. And even on bread with butter in the morning, the calf appears.
I just "mirror" in conversation with customers . It's honest. Say so. Imagine a mirror at home, come to him, but he gives the phrase: "Yes, well, you've got hair, and again on a diet it's time, honey." What I want to do?
Yes, throw away that mirror, as it is defective. It does not reflect a neutral situation, and gives advice. And if there's another and also to give advice, but others? The third, fourth... and become regular customers, wandering in the wagon to their problems from psychologist to psychologist.
I am a psychologist-mirror. Reflect the source of the problem client. Remove the debris through the questions, images, metaphors, stories of life, clarification of feelings and harmful beliefs. When the rubble cleared, then the source can be seen better. Seeing through me as a mirror of the causes of their difficulties, it Itself - Individually (to be !) as the Master of his life answers the questions:
For some reason I'm in this situation?
What to do?
How to do?
And, most importantly, why?
I was escorted on this difficult path.
At the same time my professional conscience rejoices, because by finding the answers to these questions, the person should make this decision. It was found, so he appreciates this decision. And support in life will become stronger, confident.
What do you look for in difficult life situations: crutches or a mirror?