In individual counseling and coaching is very often touches upon the topic of goal setting. We always want something and strive for something. Modern and fast paced life that focuses on social success and achievement, makes its own rules: it requires us to set goals and go for them. Yes, unfortunately, not all are able to do and want the other half does, but it is wrong and incorrect, and most of the drifting. In the end, we either move to someone else's goals, either sail there or anywhere at all, because we are not. As a result, there is a feeling of dissatisfaction from life and its quality.
According to the researchers, most people do not know what they want, so I do not get. You can get just about what you know and what you ask. You can't get something, don't know what. I suggest you familiarize yourself with one experiment carried out by psychologists.
once the Moscow psychologists have argued between themselves: people do not know what they want; they do not set goals. Bet they have this condition: if a person in 1 minute will formulate 3 their desires so that they can be executed, psychologists can perform them, why would they want it at any cost.
they Took the phone book and within 5 days from 8 to 17 telephoned subscribers with one question: "Hello, I'm a goldfish. If you for one minute will formulate three of your desires, I will."
Imagine how many people they rang in 5 days!
the result: ONLY 2 people are in 1 minute to articulate their three wishes. Moreover, one of them is in principle impossible to perform. But the desire for another was very specific: I want, he said, a bag of money, keys to new Moscow apartments and a red Ferrari.
Do nothing. The contract is worth more than money. And went psychologists to fulfill those desires. Drove to the Bank. Exchanged 1000 rubles for 1 kopek and asked in a Bank bag in which to carry money. First wish fulfilled.
Arrived in ZHKO, asked for the keys to new Moscow apartments. And be SURE to help them that it really the keys to new Moscow apartments. Second wish is also fulfilled.
most psychologists have suffered with the third wish. Well, not in the shops of children's toys red Ferrari. Found. The third wish is made.
so, what can we conclude from this experiment? We always get what we want. And if you don't want, also get. Ie, did not get.
Very clearly and vividly this phenomenon was shown in the scene of a famous movie "Charodei" (the USSR, 1982, based on the novel of brothers Strugatsky "Monday begins on Saturday"). The main character Ivan Puhov (A. Abdulov, the actor) asks a magic wand, the appearance of his enchanted bride Alyona (A. Yakovleva actress). He utters these words: "I Want here and now there Alyonushka". And that falling on his head from the air? Chocolates "Alenka" furniture "Alena", Bessie waltz, etc. i.e. what you asked for, and got, no marriage.
now ask yourself the questions:
1.You know what you want?
2.Can you exactly and quickly, clear and articulate?
3.As reflected in your ignorance of the achievements of the goal?
If these are simple questions put you in a deadlock or, on the contrary, caused a flood of desires and dreams, in any case, it is necessary to deal with this and to revise. For example, to compile a current list, break the goal into tasks (small steps), a timeline, separating its from a stranger, etc. etc. there are certain techniques and consistency. And this is best done with a specialist. Thanks to his professional knowledge, you will be able to understand and determine why stuck on some life and not moving that gets in the way of any obstacles, or, for example, why is still reaching a particular goal, you have no sense of joy, happiness and harmony.
Invited to individual consultations and coaching sessions.
Glad to be useful!
Author: Olga Levko, psychologist