Every person ever met in my life who insists on his point of view, not even taking into account the reasons and arguments, but if there are indisputable facts of his innocence, he will find ways and reasons to avoid it and You will be blamed for everything. And each time the situation with such a person will be repeated. And with such people we may encounter at work, at home, it can be our friends and family. Let's understand why this happens and what it involves, and most importantly, what to do if in Your environment there are such people.
Recall a situation when You were right. What do you feel? Most likely, it will be a sense of pride, of superiority. Our self-esteem will rise.
now try to remember a situation in which You were wrong. What feelings, feelings were? Perhaps it was the feeling of shame, of failure. And some people in this situation will try to find out what they did wrong, to admit his mistake and make a conclusion. And others even will not understand - "I'm still right!”.
There are several reasons for this behavior:
- People afraid to be ridiculed. Our brain remembers all the events of our lives, as well as the emotions, sensations and feelings that we experienced when faced with the specific situation. For example, once the man was something wrong, he was ridiculed. As a result, you may receive a protective mechanism: it is impossible to admit its not right, stand to the last, otherwise you will be ridiculed. And people live with this setting. Often isn't aware of it.
- People are afraid of losing their status. This is particularly important for those who occupy a leading position. Many can be difficult to admit that a subordinate was right, smarter - present fear of losing their status.
- People are afraid to lose credibility. It often happens in a family in which one spouse is a leader who needs to listen and follow instructions. However, he can be a leader only in the family. If it turns out so that the family members will suppress his authority, is likely to be a lot of conflict. Rather the family is a way to raise their self-esteem, need for recognition, method of compensation.
- Pride. This excessive pride, arrogance, arrogance, selfishness, conceit. One who is filled with pride, as a rule, he is in the greatest confusion and misleads others. Him, because a closed heart, it seems that it – the center of the universe, the possessor of extraordinary abilities, and therefore all others should strive to be well.
of these reasons, it can be concluded that people do not admit they were wrong because of the fear of being in front of other loser, and the worst thing is to admit it to themselves and lower their self-esteem. At the same time he may experience discomfort, but more often he doesn't want to realize they were wrong. And in this case, we can only do what depends on us. And how much we would not have to offer arguments in defense of his point of view in a conversation with a man - can't hear us. So before you engage in an argument with a man, you need to determine for yourself, “But is it necessary?”, “What will I achieve?”, “What are the consequences of waiting for me?”
If that person is Your boss, it is unlikely that You will be heard and have some impact on his decision.
much easier if this person was Your boss or a colleague at work. What if You live under the same roof, have a joint household, raising children? The work can be changed, but with family members is much more complicated. In this situation a psychologists recommend to tell partner about your feelings, the sensations You experience in situations where Your opponent does not recognize its not right. Avoiding the evaluation of the partner, because it can damage self-esteem. And the best negotiations are when both You and Your opponent is calm, emotions are “left”.
We can't force someone to change or to change ourselves, we can say how we, how we feel in a particular situation. And not always can be heard, but it is not up to us. But to change their behavior can only be man himself and it's quite difficult because you need to be aware of their actions, to have the desire to change them and a lot of effort to control their behavior.
the second way is to agree, but remain unconvinced. Especially when You already know that to defend their point of view does not make sense.
a Lot depends on who is the man who does not recognize its not right. In some matters we can agree with the opponent, but there are also those that affect Your life and the lives of Your children. Therefore, the way of responding in such situations You choose. Every case is unique and there is no universal “the pill” at all.