Why is it so hard to be a part of the family?


For each of us the family is important, whether it is family or parent our own. We the people, this is our nature, we unite in flocks :) Even despite the fact that today the family and its structure change so quickly, it seems that the family in one form or another will always exist.

whatever we have neither had a relationship with their parents, relatives, children, partners, we are somehow emotionally involved in contact with them. In our shared emotional space "lives" so many different experiences. We share them or keep to yourself, but our field is always filled with them.

This field is not just a metaphor. Very often we feel depends on our state, mood, and our sustainability. We are easily charged with emotions close and easily charge your emotions family. Here, I'm sure each of us can remember a vivid example about his family, when that appears, the emotion in the family field covered all the big wave, it was hard to survive, to cope with it.

Well-suited example with a small child. Survival of the baby depends entirely on adult. A child is born absolutely helpless and without an adult it just dies. A small child all configured like a locator, to read the emotions of relatives and evoking positive emotions in others. It is a way of its adaptation, survival. We all saw that when the family has a lot of anxiety, conflict, tension, a small child would feel exactly the same way: lots of crying, nervous, anxious, afraid. He has no other ways to tell about your condition, dealing with it. We are no longer small children, but sometimes feel like a wave of feelings swept over us with his head, and sometimes even crippling. Why is this happening?

If we asked a family psychologist, he would have first turned its attention to the extent to which the members of our family are able to cope with the emotions? How this family field experiences all related to each other? Or fragmented? How much emotion one person "gets" in the other, and whether there is a way, within our General field only a big emotional clump, and not quite clear whose it was?

I will describe briefly the options that we can meet in your family or in the families around us:

1. The relationship can be very close, and then we are talking about reactivity. One family member does something- the other immediately responds. Of another as if there is no answer.

for Example, the first person just had an unpleasant conversation on the phone and he hung up the phone, gets angry at the husband/wife/child/parent, it captures the anger and he "uploads" his emotion in family members.

2. Disunity. Family members did not seem related to each other, they are all by themselves.

In this case, in the above example, person No. 1 could not to say anything about the unpleasant conversation to their loved ones. He has preserved these experiences, preserved them. Interestingly, in this case, other members of the family charged him with anxiety, "reading" gloom, despair, tension. It is also about responsiveness.

And what else happens?

If we think about the example of family relationships in which people feel comfortable, safe, open, feel the pleasure of interaction with each other, we'll be talking about a family with a high degree of arbitrariness. We can restrain their emotions, and can show them. We are able to choose the moment when to talk about what is happening to us, to others. We can choose the degree and depth to which we are willing to take. And our relatives can choose whether to join to our senses, to advise us something, whether its to share.

we Can say that people from such family will not be show us emotions (I had an unpleasant phone conversation - I yelled at the child), and to tell, to share ("Hey, that was a tough conversation, I get really angry!").

did you/your family in some of the descriptions? To tell any more about what may be it's a family field, and as we ourselves feel it? As to affect its stability when washed away by a wave?

Anna Semernikova
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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