Understanding from one person to another, in fact, is the basis of every communication. A proper understanding makes the communication more productive and enjoyable for everyone. Everything seems to be simple enough and clear, but in reality things are not as you want. And not always understanding is achieved, hence, in the majority, there are problems and conflicts.
Any person, if he is interested in another, is attempting to understand it, very often while still allowing for mistakes. The familiar phrase: - "I don't understand, sorry", why despite all the efforts to understand the other is so difficult? One of the errors, in my opinion, is that the person tries to put themselves in the place of another and from this position to look at the situation. The fact that no one can experience the palette of feelings experienced by the other, in full. It is impossible to get a feel for the attitude of mind of falling snow or the sight of human blood of another person, because emotions are always, strictly, the individual. We can not feel what the other person is feeling because of the fact that we have different life experiences, so everyone will have their own attitude, and your solution to the problem. When someone says: "Put yourself in my place" is nothing more than a desperate attempt to justify, which obviously is doomed to failure. Not one to look at the world through the eyes of another. To this could be to live for a man his whole life, which is impossible.
Another feature understanding is that people often try to understand others using the motive of the action. This may not always lead to success, because there may not be a clear explanation of any action and to unambiguously conclude only on the basis of only apparent motive is not true. Plus people in most cases overlook one important detail, especially noticeable when we are talking about close and native person, all people are subject to change. A very vivid illustration of this can serve the children. Sometimes people find it difficult to understand their children because the latter change very quickly, and parents always tend to believe their children are still young. The same thing happens with adults, it's just a question of rate of change. Someone is changing fast, but for someone need more time for this. Example, when you meet with your friend with whom you haven't seen for 10 years, it is likely that you will notice that it has changed both externally and internally, changes those around not so conspicuous, less visible.
To understand why would not it people tend to use certain images that he fills some content. And these images, even if referred to one and the same word may be quite different. When a woman says that wants a harmonious relationship with a man, it implies / she's got a way/ that in such a relationship with a man they will take care of each other, in every way manifesting his attention to the partner. For men a harmonious relationship, in most cases, when it is not touched or both partners are engaged in that is interesting man. It seems to be the same words, and the understanding of different images and also different.
When one person says something different then this, sometimes there is not only a direct meaning, but also what is hidden. An example of the phrase "I miss you" and a status message, feelings, and call-to-action that can change this state. In most cases, when a person communicates verbally with others, he wants something from him, perhaps, or an action, or support. But this is not always the desire directly voiced. For example, when a woman tells man that her torn pantyhose, she wishes he shared her emotions and feelings about why. The man replies are usually something like this "Buy new", from his point of view, the problem is solved. But the woman wanted another, and that started the confusion.
Very often people fall into the trap of false understanding, it is due to the fact that in society it is not customary to ask a lot of questions and, accordingly, people are afraid to do it. It turns out that sometimes one becomes reluctant to play the role that know-it-alls, especially vividly seen on the example, when a person comes to get a job, and the fact that he was afraid to show my bad side, avoiding to ask the recruiter more questions, thus not getting the necessary for understanding the information.
Man is the only creature on the planet, which has the second signal system. Speech, as a way of communication is unique in itself. Through speech we can communicate and get the understanding. You must accept the fact that, just asking and clarifying at the person the way he sees a particular process or condition, we can correctly interpret his wishes, in other words to understand. Need to talk to someone and not try your imagination to replace real understanding. To speak directly about their desires also does not always work, for various reasons. So learn to ask, especially those people who are close to you to understand them, right. And this in turn will save you from many problems and conflicts.
Live with joy! Anton Black.
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