Why the

Imagine a family – father, mother, son and daughter. Mom and dad are asking weather conditions. Create an atmosphere in which to grow up (brought up) their children. And at some point, parents realize that the child - teen is not growing as I would like. Was "prickly, hard," that is, talking back, not listening, out of the house.

Parents, take the child and lead to the psychologist. "Comrade psychologist help, as it is not so he grows and develops". And the psychologist starts working with this child "plant." Takes his sponge (the technique of working with adolescents) or "polishing machine" (a variety of psychological exercises) and stays with the child some work

a week or a month later, the child again "soft and fluffy". It was so beautiful and bright, the parents love it. Parents noticeable that the problematic behavior of the child in the family, now not so acute. Happy parents thank a psychologist and take this "plant" home.

And the house the same atmosphere, the same weather conditions – Blizzard, winter, snow, trees broken or a hurricane, a tornado, mud, rain.

What will happen to the child "plant" during this time? Problematic behavior of the child-teenager will come back. And a week later the parents will again bring it to the same psychologist, gently alluding to the fact that a psychologist did a bad job and needs to finish the job right.

every family has the main elements that form the atmosphere (weather conditions) in the family – PARENTS. A minor is units which under the weather conditions adjusted CHILDREN.

In some families the atmosphere is wonderful, the weather is gorgeous, warm, comfortable. Most likely, in a family between spouses reigns respect, support, mutual understanding, trust.

And in other families - Blizzard, cold, storm, danger, wet, rain, mud. That is, parents broadcast - distrust, anger, aggression, accusations, humiliation, beatings, adultery, claims, etc.

you will Have the desire to take the child to a psychologist to improve his behavior when the family is all safely and securely? No. the
And what weather conditions parents bring children to therapy? When the family is not safe, not comfortable, not comfortable.

There is a saying: "the Apple fall far from the tree". And those weather conditions which are asked by parents in which the child lives exert its influence on him. That is, the child behaves how to behave by his parents. The child absorbs the behaviors of mom and dad. br>
When the child lives in a family with "bad" weather conditions, it will issue an appropriate response in the form of adverse behavior. Such adverse behaviour of parents trying to ban the child, without thinking about the consequences. And some of the other parents is obtained, either alone or with other professionals. br>
But weather conditions in the family, as was uncomfortable for a child, so they remain. So, continue to have a negative impact on the mental condition of the child.

for Example, take the elastic and stretch it to infinity. What will be the outcome? The rubber band will snap, break. So similarly, in families with unfavourable weather conditions, "burst" and children. br>
What happens when the children burst? They "leave"! br>
Leave home, go to adverse company, go to the Internet, go to the use of psychoactive substances go into the suicide attempts etc (1)

Choosing the method of care, child, first of all psychologically, and then physically "tearing" of communication and away from their PARENTS. As is expressed in his problematic behavior. br>
Based on the above, the main task of parents when the teenager has behavior problems is not to ban such behavior, and learn to READ it in order and properly react, to prevent the "care" of the child. br>
now think about it, parents! Does it make much sense that You are trying to persuade psychologists to work with Your child? What good will that do when the child from the psychologist returns to the same not comfortable for him and even dangerous weather conditions, created by You! br>
to change the weather conditions for the better, who primarily need to work a psychologist? Right with You – as key parts of a family system. br>
the Formula for positive change – simple! br>
All the changes are in the form of a chain reaction. Now decide who needs to go to a psychologist? br>

  • Roman A. Gritsenko – "Business-style cross-coaching, effective work with parents of teenagers"
Podolin Alex
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