Perhaps each of us met in the lives of people to whom you can always turn for help, these people really know how they can help others, often they strive to offer their assistance. But the paradox is that that is the most difficult to ask about something others if they need it. General appeal or request for help, especially if it is addressed to an unfamiliar person causes a lot of not very pleasant experiences in some people. Why asking is so hard? Even if the request is appropriate, not everyone with ease, can turn to his neighbor. There are a few, in my opinion, the reasons, try to understand them.
the First reason can legitimately be considered the education that person received in childhood. When the child is still a child instill the idea that he has no one and nothing must, and do it with power and even some degree of aggression, he has formed a stereotype that in life he must do everything only by yourself, without the help of others. Respectively and ask about something others, it seems somehow wrong. Or when a child asks parents about something, but each time is rejected, and this is repeated constantly, and the situation may be different, he understands that the request is simply useless, still: not give, not buy, will not allow, will not allow. The consequences of such education in adulthood makes the person unable to ask, about something to others, because he will think that it is meaningless.
the Next moment, for some to ask this means to show their weakness. If the person lives with the idea that he is a very strong, successful, he gladly offers to help, but he does it to feel and to show his power and strength. Often, these people demonstrate to others that the best in them. Pride makes it impossible for them to go to someone with a request. For them it seems, something that can destroy the habitat that they themselves have created. But to live without the other is impossible, but because if you can ask for, such people begin to demand. Provided that the desired they don't get offended. The situation may reach that person comes to the inner /false/ believe that others have to guess what he wants. To communicate with such people very difficult.
Not the most common reason that people don't want to ask about something the other is that they are simply afraid to become debtors. "If I ask will help me, then I'll have to do something"-so says about such people, but there is also simple human gratitude. Even if the one who helped you yesterday, tomorrow may turn to you for help is normal, it is part of human relations. / of course, if we are not talking about the violation of the criminal code
the Request is, in fact, the easiest way of getting something, because if you do it / asking/ no pressure and explaining reason, more than 90% of the case people gets the desired result. In addition, ask it again and show another, you need it and important to you. This is especially true in marital relations during the period when communication is reduced to simple functioning or expression of personal opinions. For example, partner will be nicer to hear "Meet me today, please" instead of "I need to meet with the work."
Perhaps one of the most important features of the request is gratitude, which it is necessary to Express to those who helped.
Live with joy! Anton Black.
