Why sometimes men pull away even from a woman they really liked

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Imagine the situation: a woman starts Dating a man and all of them very well. Relations rapidly razvivayutsya and this woman already in their fantasies begins to try on a veil and to come up with names for their children. Therefore, the behavior starts in a bit, but vary substantially. She begins increasingly to sprashivati men about his feelings for her, plans for the future, how many children he wants and where they will spend their honeymoon.

Well, about the honeymoon, I may exaggerate a little, although there are some ladies,  but the point is that the woman begins quite considerably the pressure on the man with adoption they have a particular final decision about their future. And this despite the fact that they can meet only about a month or two.

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the Man, of course, a little in shock from such a rapid development of events. He honestly doesn't understand where his partner is in such a hurry and where has gone the easy, fun and carefree woman with whom he seems only recently met. Because now he just feels a constant "pressure" on her part and a sense of duty for her future happiness and destiny. Relationships do not develop more easily and naturally and it's depressing. 

But actually, such a reaction men quite doesn't mean he wanted would in the future to create a family with this woman, because she really liked him and that relationship has brought pleasure and happiness to both of them. But he wanted to come to this decision and take it for themselves, for men this is a very important point. It's really a big responsibility and a serious step that you need to consider.



So when a man starts to "push" and literally demand that decision already "here and now", well, or very pointedly to hint at it, it seems  works like "defense mechanism” and there is only one desire - to escape as quickly as possible. But just think, you did not occur the same desire, when you are under pressure and forced to make a decision? I think that occurs. And so it is with men.

 that is, if the man realizes that now he was not just a person who really liked and were interesting to this woman, and it was her chance to get married and she is ready to pay any price to achieve his goal, it automatically loses its former appeal in his eyes. Because the woman herself may not notice how annoying and dependent she becomes.



 This can manifest itself in constant extortion from the man evidence of his feelings for her and serious about their relationship. Yes, I want to know and understand that your “all serious” is OK, because women really need to feel stability, security and confidence in the future next to your man. But when it becomes  literally extortion of all this evidence, it looks, to put it mildly, quite ugly and even repulsive.

After all, how insecure and always requires something a woman can be attractive? It is therefore not surprising that the man in this case would be “saved” by flight. After all, it seems that from the cheerful and confident woman, with whom he only recently started Dating was nothing left and it's really scary, because what will happen when they do get married ...?



confirmation of my words I will quote you quote famous Argentinian psychotherapist and writer Jorge Buka: “When women complain that men do not go on contact, they do not take into account that this is a reaction to their pressure. Men withdraw when they feel that the woman is trying to force things, not giving them the time needed for decision-making”.

 Therefore, my dear women, don't get ahead of yourself. All the time, because you don't want a man married only because you forced him to do it, right? After all, such relations can hardly be considered happy, strong and full of mutual love and respect for each other.



in addition, always remember that men are fully responsible for only those decisions that are made independently and not under pressure.

So just enjoy your relationship right here and now and give yourself and your man some time to do consciously, mutually, and most importantly on their own come to this decision.

But remember that this time must also be within reason and not wait until it "Matures" 5-10 years, because then the probability that he will ever want once you get married and start a family is significantly reduced. Here, the main "do not push", but not to give to fool my brain and then everything will be fine and work out the best way for you, you'll see. Good luck to you!

 

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sincerely, your psychologist, Victoria Kirsta supervised over


2019-03-18
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