At work, the boss tells me what to do. This dependent relationship?

of Course, in the service of you obey the boss, but in psychological terms you have with him should not be dependent of relations. If we are talking about the deal, hiring or provision of services is a partnership: a contract or agreement, the law regulates the most controversial issues.

When a dependent relationship subjection to one another is not regulated and often do not spoken. Donors and collectors of money for treatment. Husband abuser and wife in the decree. Guardian abusing power and incapacitated. Prostitutor and the man he buys. And here's another scale: the official takes bribes and turns a blind eye to crime within the system.

Why you need a dependent relationship

to fill the deficit the easy way.

Written thousands of articles and hundreds of dissertations that a dependent relationship is bad, and affiliate to the contrary. But people still enter into dependent relationships, because it is a simple way (seems simple) to cover the needs. The one sponsor that receives a resource – money, respect, power, the administrative resource; the sponsor also receives a service – emotional, informational, psychological, sexual, domestic, institutional.

what's wrong with that?

People with a healthy view of the world strive to be successful in what they do. They demonstrate this: look, I was promoted, my business is growing, the child took a place at the Olympics, or ten times increase in the number of visitors to the site. Success is demonstrated through consumption: I bought an iPad, an apartment, a trendy bag, a football club, a cool spinning training from renowned guru, or went to sea. This is normal.

the man in the pathological relationship mirrored the changing system of values. If the dependent will show its success, its access to resources will cease. The paradox: neuspesne dependent, the more success he achieves.

Rule dependent relationship: the worse you are, the better.

This is a destructive game sponsor as if keen to help, but actually worsens the situation of the addict and distort his personality. Unhappier than the applicant – the more money he collects, the stronger is strengthened in its role – the stronger grows the mask. Remember the mystery of Leonardo da Vinci about the pit: the more is taken from it, the more it grows.

As happens with addictions, at first it seems that he fully controls the situation, but the moment when out of the pit to not get out, is faster than expected.

If you feel that you are in a dependent relationship to come, we understand.

Makarov Denis
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