Olga, this can't be! Did I perceive people? Know I'm not! exclaimed my client after the diagnosis.
- Lucy, whom you've just described? Neighbor Mary? Or himself?
- Well, himself. But it's so unusual. I thought I was white and fluffy and arrogant, tired, exhausted, hard...
- did you not feel tired? – I ask.
Yes, in recent times, particularly the woman agrees.
- it Turns out, fatigue you notice for themselves, and some stiffness in itself does not see.
- Well, sometimes I can be tough, insist on, go to the end to get what you want. Offended if not. Is that a bad thing?
- overall, it is a trait that good. But in relations with other rigidity makes keep them away from you. In the first place, the rigidity, a trait that repels men.
Yeah! - puzzled, says Olga – that is, its rigidity I scare away potential suitors, and therefore, so far, am I alone?
- it Turns out that way!
This dialogue with Lucy, my client, I cited the example to show you a very important thing. We tend not to see ourselves for who we really are. We go to the mirror and see ourselves as one. People we others. If no one is watching us - we are third. And when nobody's watching – in this case, we are real, are what we really are. But who can tell you you're "tough and arrogant"?
And if there is such a brave man, will you be able to perceive these words?! It is very important to see who you really are and what you're grafting to the world. Then you will agree with this, and you will not have internal resistance. What you notice in yourself, others will notice, for example, men. In my eyes, they would tell you, but a serious relationship with you to refrain.
a Woman can think for himself that she was beautiful , slender, kind. And the man reads that she was arrogant, rigid and capable of only superficial relationships. Reads subconsciously and is not suitable. The woman continues to think that the problem is not her, and men. Is they any "not such", and therefore relationships with men do not add up.
Very often I see my clients that they do not trust in General, men is not any particular, but to everyone! Mistrust to men from childhood, from family history, from the relationship of a girl with her dad.
That translates to really a woman who doesn't trust men? She loves, understands, perceives as a hostile object that she thinks she is above them ... even angry towards them. This woman can be kind, sympathetic and wanting a relationship. Woman kind and sweet remains exactly as long as the relationship does not go beyond the official, business and just friendly.
If the relationship is a hint that they become close, the more pronounced distrust of men. It may appear in different ways, including putting on a mask, hard, arrogant women. To God forbid, not to make light, non-committal relationship into something more serious.
When we look at ourselves as if from outside, we perceive ourselves differently. We can look at ourselves through the eyes of his mother. And then measured from the position of the mother, "This woman is beautiful. She's smart, kind, responsible, caring." But men are not my mother. They see us and read instantly that "This woman is sexy. Men she doesn't love. She's tough, angry, tired."
Understand the difference between what you used to see yourself and how really perceive you and other people? Men see what they need to see. If the hard and arrogant, guess the reaction of the men about this woman? Normal, psychologically healthy men would shun such a woman. It will involve men with a variety of internal conflicts.
I suggest you perform the exercise, which will replace the few sessions with a psychologist. It will help you to see who you really are and what you're grafting to the world. I suggest you right now to take photos diagnosis. Diagnosis is based on a scientific approach and nothing to do with divination at the photos she has!
- Take a picture of you not smiling, which are clearly visible your eyes. In the photo you one, for these purposes, is quite suitable selfie.
- Put in front of him the photo. Prepare the recorder – all more or less modern phones have such a function. If the recorder is not, prepare a sheet of paper.
- Imagine that you're my friend, and I ask you to describe your friend of a woman. I propose to look at a photo of my friend (it's your photo!) and to answer the questions. Important! To articulate what it is first. Look at your photo removed eye.
- I ask you:
a) "What is it? What are the qualities?"
b) "What does she want?"
C) "What is she afraid?"
d) "She's in a relationship? Does she have someone close to you. Is she married?"
d) "As it relates to men? What does she think about them?"
e) "How men feel about her? What do you think about her?"
g) "It is interesting for you? Would you like to get to know her?"
V) "is She hot? Would you like to join with her in physical intimacy?"
you Know what you just did? You learned how you perceive other men! Yes! What you said about yourself in the third person, this answers your "inner man."
how you perceive the "Inner man" one hundred percent corresponds to how you perceive (unconsciously) other men. If the answers means that you're exhausted, tired, serious, arrogant, commander, the same way you perceive other men. You think you are white and fluffy, but really you're channeling the world that "You're hot!"
From the book "Hello divorce, goodbye loneliness!" (abridged)
Reprint any part of text only with permission of the author.
Author: Olga Fedoseeva