Lena tried to concentrate or to gain inspiration. The weather was gorgeous – spring. The street is quite quiet. The yard is half-empty. Only on the floor playing a few guys. Lena pulled out a notebook, pen and book – now only remained to write the article.

Side a muffled roar, Lena turned around.

Yes, she got me! – The boy of fifteen, with the force threw the backpack on the bench. To him was a girl about the same age. Guy gritted his teeth.

Igor, Yes it almost all is! You would not escalate...

No, you tell me! Why she had me?! To the head to make life? – His voice was heard a mixture of burning despair and intolerable grievances. Lena frowned. Somewhere she's already seen it.

Why did you give birth – it's a rhetorical question. He's also in the head from time to time. – She gently sat beside him. She smoothed her long blond hair, and the whole appearance testified about her desire to help.

I asked her a hundred times – Mother! Do not go to my room, stay out of my stuff! - Fuck! She says that I am stubborn as a mule! I wonder who could it be? Igor glared at the window of apartment buildings. Apparently he lived there.

And that it is at this time looking for?

do Not know, probably some cigarettes. I have six months left. I go – she's digging in the closet! What are you doing? – ask. She washed things are laid out. In the closet with the notebooks!? She am I, a moron keeps! Hurry to dump it!

Igor with some catastrophic disappointment on his face shook his head. Immediately the phone rang. Igor hostile looked at the phone. Something quietly through clenched teeth.

Yes, mom... fuck... No, not coming... No, don't -- don't!

Igor with the force pressed the "end call". Lena thought that the guy fights the urge to send your phone in the trash.

will Leave to the father to Siberia, finally he concluded. He says it pays well.

the Girl shrugged her shoulders and immediately became sad.

Yes I'm telling the truth. What? I was there a few years of work, the money I'll save up and come back. An apartment here will take. Even to live where he will. Father will help. He normally treats me.

come on, Igor. This is all due to the fact that she loves you, worries, wants to be with you was all right, and all that. All parents are weird in this regard.

Well, if this is love then I'm the Pope.

Then, without much thinking, I agreed.

Yes, probably, and truth – all are. Only I sometimes think that she thinks of me as her property. How such a thing at one's own disposal or page or do not know. And that just because it's over... could Not give birth to more children?! Igor once again turned their anger to the window of the apartment buildings.

the Girl burst out laughing and started to sit down the guy on his knees.

Igor, – she said affectionately, – go for a walk? The guys go. We'll soon be eighteen and will it all end, huh?

the Guy hugged her and nodded. After a time they got up and left.

Lena stared after them, but the guy was right. Just so this is over is unlikely.

it was a quiet spring day. The leaves faintly rustled from the wind. Lena opened the notebook and began to write.

the Question is: how to behave with a man, so he decided you were his enemy? After all, we are well aware that anything on an empty place is not taken. And if you feel your child a certain attitude, there is reason to think that is was a mistake.

Remembering myself at that age, we can easily create a top 5 things that are incredibly annoying to us and understand where we are now, we being so terribly infuriated us parents.

1. I gave birth to you. So, you're my property and I'll do what I say.

This is a specific message. It can be expressed verbally and non-verbally and the message is quite clear and cruel. When a person has an intense feeling that he has no right to want things, whatever they wanted him around.

this includes the views of parents about what the child should be free 24 hours a day. Always answer calls, be responsive and attentive, to follow any instructions. Remember: you are walking on the street with friends, you cool and interesting. The whole day is already fully booked until the evening. Who will soon be released, to whom you then go where you will walk and there's the bell. You say "Come over here now. We need to help aunt Lucy to plant potatoes" - or something like that. You this aunt Lucy a hundred years will not fall and the same amount you would have not seen her. You are outraged, "Mom! I'm actually walking here!". What I hear a categorical answer: "So, without further ADO – come here. You have 30 minutes!".

And all. That's all your party has ended. You say to your friends that you have and trudge to the bus, with a hideous sense of humiliation, poprawnosci rights and so on. Really feeling nasty. Because this communication carries a great many connotations. The main of them – you don't belong. No matter what you do if I told you that you were here, you'd be here. That is, you have someone who at any second can change your plans, while not due to the fact that someone dies, but simply because it is so convenient. Unfortunately, often parents and continue to behave badly even with grown children. As long as they or won't drink too much or leave them for the far North, or stop to chat.

2. I'm going to control you, because without my control something happens

This is when parents are constantly asked: "How are you doing?" while metacourseid that most likely not. Call, ask, learn, delve into, thoroughly study and give valuable advice. Constantly telling you what to do. As if you do not know. But the fact of the matter is a promise that you really can not know. This constant control is terribly annoying. You not only do not consider it independent, you feel you keep an idiot.

3. You stupid desires. You don't want that. What you like is complete bullshit.

Pleasant as little. A blow to the values. People like to fix cars, he looks about the programs that she is dreaming about a stylish garage service station where the guys will make cool cars. But here in the room come the father or the mother, looking over shoulder, and: "Again, you're talking about your cars look? Well, look, this is still now not earn. These one HUNDRED and as dogs are not cut". I want to respond: "Thank you! Here, great thanks! Supported, so supported!" The parents decided that the lawyer to be better and the Prosecutor's office you belong.

4. You have a bad temper. If we fail to restrain him trouble.

the Presupposition that in the start people you don't. Have criminal tendencies, or are you too aggressive or inclined to lie, or maybe the adventurer. And if you look, you will not be put during the place – to be trouble. Goes to prison, got involved in some daring story of a baby in her belly will bring, will remain without a family, without work, school with the University not nished! So you know whom you consider your closest people. And enjoy it hard.

5. You weak and silly.

don't answer, slave, his head is not in the life without mom and dad is hard core is not enough in their hands to keep everything you do not know – there are all more similar characteristics. Or that you're mentally retarded. He wouldn't understand, you advice is needed, not the company you will get – consider life down the drain. It's a shame.

that, my friends, it's not just the fact that all of the above is a protest, anger, resentment, irritation but also the fact that getting such opinions about yourself from authority figures, the person starts to believe in them. Man believes that he is different and it would be hard. Hard to learn, to think, to navigate in society, to earn money, to make their own conclusions, to build relationships. Because in life we very often are guided by the opinion of yourself of us. People from outside can tell us anything, but if the us settles with the confidence of efektivnosti very hard to have in life. Let us be more understanding to our children and looking back – avoid the mistakes that have been committed against us.

© Alexey Afanasyev. Maria Afanasyeva. Svetlana Sonnet. Alain Yara.

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