Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and we are older, the sort of tolerance. But opinions can be different: you can argue about politics, and it is possible to think about the person good or bad. And that's often loved ones, especially parents about their children is well-established view. Parent my child knows better than that, he's not fooled he knows his tricks with young nails, remembers how dependent he was once as cheated and deceived. And at some point, just not noticed as the child grew as a person. And the relationship, for example, was bad, and left. "Only mom knows about you the whole truth."

Here is the place for two traps. The first is about the eternal conflict of fathers and children. It is possible to dismiss, to recall Turgenev, cocnut tongue and shake his head, try to accept the world such what it is, and their bad relationship with their parents - karma. Second - about to wait for the manifestations of warmth and love from them. "You want mom saw me, saw me as an adult". Both traps are immersed in the illusion that nothing can be done, gradually lead to depression and by the way, supported by a well - known truth- NO ONE owes NOTHING.

All true, but it is not clear how to live with it. And why.

But in fact it is important to learn not to smear this opinion. Yes, mom I will always be your favorite daughter/best pie/sad sack and the sad sack/an empty place - as lucky. But for myself who am I? What I myself think? And if I find it difficult to answer this question, how I can see my friends and relatives? It is unlikely that they are friends with me because I'm sweet bubaleh for his mother.

And then, when I realize what I am, and I stand in front of her. For example, when mom once again says "Well, you're always, always getting into trouble and I'd get" - to remind her that for the past 15 years like you to resolve their crises on their own and a mother you just want to talk about life, and not to morals. To return her to the reality in which you've changed.

It's hard because my mother will be offended. Because out of frozen forms of the relationship is terrible and not nice. It's hard because the other person's opinion hurts, no matter what anyone said about must. Because I want to close thinking about you well and supported you, and when it is not - it hurts. But out of these frozen forms - the problem of whom it hurt more, such injustice here. And when I say it's hard I even understate - very, very hard to muster the courage and clarify the relationships coming from childhood.

this is called growing up. About it in particular works psychotherapy, and not about how once the candy away. Of course, until you have the courage, you bring negativity and past grievances, but then return to the present and ask yourself - how are you now? I coped with unfair treatment? And if I'm a socialized, have jobs/friends/relationships - Yes, I'm alive, I'm a tough nut to crack and can be called for adults on equal footing to communicate with another for adults - her mother.

And positive relationships with family and friends actually affect the level of health, their own success and that is called self-esteem. This feeling of support in the world - seemingly imperceptible, but without it, too cold and empty.

Dariya Groshev
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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