You probably noticed that I write a lot about how important it is to understand yourself, your feelings and to be in contact with you real. This article is no exception. Talking about our desires (I Want), the possibilities (Can) and oughts (is Necessary).
"Katya, what do you want" I ask his client.
"Nuuu" - thinks for a long time Kate. "I want ... I want... And I don't know what I want!"
I am silent, giving her the opportunity to continue.
"I want to rest. I didn't rest for a few years! But I can't afford it! It is necessary for a sick father to take care of! But business?!" - "breaks through" her.
In the course of our work it turns out to be the following. For many years the woman lives, not paying attention to your "Want". Her Inner child is in poor condition: not treated kindly, not double not protected and not supported. "Inner child" is "responsible" for our emotions, feelings and energy. Really, with the energy of my klienci things are bad.
she has a hypertrophied sense of "I should". "We must live not worse others". "Have to take care of others." "Must be like everyone else, and not stick out." Needs. Needs. Needs. Owe it to yourself and to the world.
In the case where hypertrophied "Needs" of the "Inner Parent" becomes the sole and rightful owner of the identity. A permanent control of the "Parent" in the first place hit by the man himself: there is a strong emotional and physical stress, fatigue. The person ceases to feel the desire.
And what about the "Inner Adult" Kathy? The one that is responsible for "Can"? He is deprived of the right to vote. Client says: "But I can't leave everything and go to rest!" Why not? Because her "Parent" dictates otherwise: 'You have to work. Except you nobody can."
Our future work is focused on healing her "Inner Child" and nurturing "adult" part of the personality.
(the client's Name and some details changed)
I WANT energy.
MUST provides the terms.
Without a strong Want and Can man is doomed to stagnate and to live his own life.