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I and my former classmate that we haven't talked more than 15 years now conveniently located in one of Moscow restaurants.

We chatted, gobbling up perfectly cooked dishes, when all of a sudden he's with a certain passion, as if wanting to add weight to his words and believe in them himself said: "the General. Want to become a General."

I decided to take a closer look at it, because my classmate who I knew was a Joker and a Joker, which rather spoke about his creativity and extraordinary personality, Amateur attractive look and live "large". What he said did not fit into the current me image. Even now, despite the discipline and rigidity of the structure, where he served in it played the spark of life, the truth is very, very pale.

"what's this For?" asked me.

I knew from my own experience and knowledge from psychology suggests that the desire and purpose that do not contain under itself the true values, but rather are imposed "from the outside" or constitute the installation.

Desire, stemming "from the outside" and the installation can be transferred, both consciously and unconsciously as a rule from entourage, important.

So, for example, from early childhood in the family can create a cult of some occupation or status, and in this case, the child usually has no understanding of even the possibility of other options.

Or one of the parents involved in certain activities, however, she was not satisfied with the emotional involvement, but allows you to provide for the family and creates a certain stability In this case, the child will seek to find the activity of "liking", while in the case of internal conflict and denial of the experience of a parent, most likely wandering will lead him to a similar situation, but that would be "like a parent", a child will try to see some pluses and bonuses in activities that would "smooth out" rejection.

Installation can arise from the uncovered needs and injuries, such as early death of one of relatives from the disease could trigger a huge need for security, and the child will choose the profession of a doctor or expert on the development of medicines.

I Remembered a passage from the book "Escape from freedom" Erich Fromm: "Watching people make decisions, we have to marvel at how wrong they were!
Taking its own decision, the result is the subordination of the customs, conventions, sense of duty, or overt pressure. Own solution - quite rare".

So the answer to your question I have not received.

of Course, everyone has their own values, for some it's development, family, health. In a General sense we can distinguish two basic values are love and freedom. Which are disclosed in the material world through relationships (love) and capabilities (freedom). For better understanding, for example using existential therapy "desire" should be involved at all four levels of human existence: physical, social, personal (spiritual and emotional), the spiritual.

Purely as a friend, I thought, if the desire is to ensure that a certain group of people recognizing you as "General", then I personally will perform a breeze and even not difficult to rename in the phone book and let my ex, but a classmate - "General!".

And finally, this article propose a technique that aims to clean your CPU-"the mind" from unfulfilled wishes and desires, whose implementation to You is not interesting.

Description of this technique: it is necessary on a piece of paper to write all the unfulfilled wishes, desires, whose implementation is not interesting, as well as desires that You have realized that does not belong to You, or desires that You realized that absolutely is not currently enforceable. Then, next to each desire, write "I refuse to fulfill this desire. Completed. Thank you," or this phrase can be written in the end of the list.

With Respect and love to everyone

Rogova N. S.,

counselor, lawyer

Rogov Natalia
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